Simply Love...

   This morning was gorgeous, mostly cloudy and almost chilly.  I dropped my husband off at work and drove to my favorite place on the bike trail--where the river, grasses, wildflowers, hills and sky are barely disturbed by buildings and poles.  I was too sleepy to fully absorb my Psalms reading but I did catch a few things: God's words, commands are more to be treasured than gold.  They are weighty, for our good, and He knows more than we can imagine.  He is good.  I settled my heart into that place where I can easily listen and set off on a run/walk to absorb more things from Him and the beauty around me.  

    "It's simple."  The thought that struck me last night echoed back in my heart as I walked.  Last night I invited many ladies to a park for fun and hopefully encouragement.  We had volleyball to play, art we could work on, and a bike trail for walking.  Having invited everyone there, I felt a bit of pressure to make sure everyone jived and had a good time.  I got a bit overwhelmed when ladies began arriving faster than I could introduce them and things seemed to be wonderfully out of hand. It happens that somewhere along my vast path of life I got the idea that I was responsible to make people happy, and I greatly enjoy doing that when that is possible, and everything is fine until this becomes less possible.  I submitted some of my panic to God and He just assured me to rest and let things flow, let the ladies talk, walk, scribble--and I could just do what I needed to do, love, and enjoy.  Why is this unnatural?  Why do I let myself take on responsibility for other people's emotions to this point of stress?  "It's simple," I felt God's whisper and it settled into my heart.  I looked around at everyone chatting, painting, laughing and standing around the picnic table.  Beautiful ladies that God had made who were enjoying creation and each other--and if they weren't it wasn't my fault.  My responsibility isn't to make the world go 'round, and cause people to like each other, and enjoy their lives--it is simply to love them.  When the love of God is truly abiding in our hearts, this is simple.  My evening of laides with volleyball, painting and visiting ended with giving a hug to everyone and experiencing an overflowing amount of love in my being from God, for them, for Him, for me.  I had to leave early because I had biked there and it was becoming dark.  

      It does all simply go back to loving.  Nothing extra, nothing to prove, nothing to control, just love.  And His love isn't just love, it is extravagant love and He is working it in us everyday walking with Him!  This makes me burst into smiles.

  Click here:for a song to drive it home ...

~Brooke

     

What we want--and--what we want to want.

So, what do I want?  What do I really want?  Most of us want lots of things!  We don't realize how much we really want until we are unable to get it.  These are some shallow and deep questions I have been trying to answer truthfully.  Two amazing books have come my way in these past weeks.  They seem to speak to my unspoken questions.  Does any one else wonder things in the almost subconscious places of their minds, as I do?  Questions we never ask aloud, conclusions we almost come to, and would, if we explored the thought more or asked God about it. It's that place in our innermost being that I do not naturally invite God's insight into, but I believe He introduces thoughts.  Anywho, these two books, Boundaries and  Abundant Simplicity (by Henry Cloud and Jan Johnson--thanks Sarah and Kaitlynn!) along with the book of James continue to address my inner ponderings and bring wisdom to areas that the Holy Spirit brought to my subconscious thought world first.

 Both of these books encourage you to ask yourself what you think you want, the things we say in spiritual tones that we want, and are convinced that we want.  Abundant Simplicity tells you to make two lists: what you think you want and what you want based on what you pursue and think about the most. It has been amazing to face honestly what I go after the most, naturally (what I really want) and the things I say and think I want, and how those sometimes get put on the back burner.  Here is a peice of my list so you get the idea.  Honesty is refreshing though a bit troubling sometimes.
What I think I want and think of when asked what I want:
~I want to glorify God! ~I want to be Jesus' hands and feet and love on earth ~I want to be an encouraging wife and friend ~I want to bring people to Jesus ~I want to be loved by my husband ~I want to be fit, healthy and not addicted to food or anything...
What I want based on my actions and what I think about:
~I want coffee and sweets ~I want admiration ~I want exciting interaction with people ~I want letters, flowers and chocolates from my lover ~I want to be comfortable ~I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it...
NOW that I've started to be honest with myself and God, I can look at what I truly treasure--whether I think I want to treasure it or not.  Being aware of this has awakened a longing to truly treasure my God like I want to...and choose Him, when it comes to choosing above the other things that I want.  This kind of looking inward is only valuable if it spurs us onto a sweeter, deeper relationship with our Father.  It is not meant to provoke condemnation or despair because we are desperately off track sometimes.This question is all about honesty to improve our relationship with God and when we are honest we can truly be changed by God--instead of pretending we are where we want to be.
In Boundaries, the author who is a long time counselor shared the story of a man who had repeated affairs.  He would confess and tell his wife he was sorry and didn't want to be unfaithful.  He said that these affairs were against his will.  Over and over he stumbled into them.  This counselor encouraged the man to be honest.  He really did want to have affairs or he wouldn't continue to have them, this desire was taking over his other desires to be faithful to his wife.  When the man finally confessed that he really did enjoy the pleasure of these affairs, he was able to receive forgiveness and began to be restored.  God met him in his point of honesty and lifted him above this desire, to the pure desire to be faithful to his wife.  He found freedom.
The question should be narrowed down from "What do you want?" to "What do you want the most."  Every day we make these choices.  My heart is stirred and prompted to tell Father:

"Father, I want to long for You as You long for me.  To go after You with all of my heart focused on You.  Laying aside empty things so I have time for the substance, for the TRUE things in life!"

We can't convince God that what we want is him when we are wanting a whole lot of things and putting those others things as tops in our life.  The best we can do is tell our loving Father exactly what is going on in our hearts, whether it is "I want chocolate right now!" or "I want to steal that bike," (use your imagination!).  We can ask Him to be first and to align our desires with His and what is truly good, what we truly want above the impulse of the moment.  We can ask for freedom from harmful desires, and this is where that "true happiness" is found.
This looks different to all of us, and I don't have a clear cut idea of things I need to cut out of my life to make room for my desire for God, but as the daily choices for pursuit come, I desire to desire to choose God first!!!  This is a love relationship with Him, where the more I choose Him the more I want to choose Him and our love grows.  It's all about THIS relationship.

Hebrews12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Postscript...I wonder, did Jesus want to go to the cross?  It wasn't His will, and He was honest about that, but His ultimate desire was for the joy set before Him of the Father and us, He wanted to and He did.  Just some more food for thought...


And...a random great song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbdJXKqVgtg