It has been a long time. I will try to get right to sharing some of the things Papa has put on my heart lately--in the past 2 weeks that I are ongoing lessons and/or possibly share some happenings in my life. I don't know, I will just ride the waves of instantanious inspiration! *grin*
First of all, God has been shining His light on things again (He loves to do this, and I love it when He does). Not only on things around me but things in my heart. When He does this, a contrast is created, or a shadow, see? For some time LIFE has been highlighted, and thus death has been brought out by contrast. Spring is a great time to be alive anyway, and to appreciate life. On the night of April 11th I was taking a liesurely stroll down the barren and moist feilds, joyfully talking with God and remembering (thanks to recording in my jurnal) a significant desire I had surrendered in this field 2 years ago. One of those "Not my will but Yours be done". Wonderful freedom, by the way, comes in that statement! Anywho,I wandered down in a valley, closer to the interstate and there was a thin, cute stream I hadn't seen bfore. the sun was setting in that moment and the atmosphere was gently glowing. Perfect, you know? Well, minus mesquitos...but this is MN and earth, nonetheless!
I forget at what point I was at in this convo with my Daddy, but as I turned toward the sunset, this verse rose up from somewhere inside (where Jesus lives <3) "You will show me the path of LIFE; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Ps 16:8. I love this verse. So I basked in the goodness of this God who not only loves us, but guides us in the best way, the way of Life, that leads to life. He is life. He is the way. He will lead me! Good stuff, huh? I walked beside the stream briskly to lose the surrounding pests *bzzzzzzzz*, and turned back to check on the progressing sunset after a bit. This time a contrasting verse came to me "There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but it's end is the way to DEATH" (Prov 4:12 ESV). This way leads to death rather than life...and it is the natural way we would choose just by leaning on our minds, our understanding and what seems right to us.
This is the problem with the Christian "religion" that I have held in my mind based on my own fear and numerous teachings from many well-meaning churches that I have sat in many times. We need to have His Word in our hearts, and listen to Him as He speaks from there. Not just gain learning for our heads to be filled with truth, for it is there in our heads that our human reasoning resides as well, and lies exist and truth can be contorted because we are trusting our reasoning based on the past and what we can see...those are so unreliable! Atleast I know my tendency to make decisions by coupling past experience, perception of reality, desire, sensiblity, people's opinions, and also what God might be wanting based on what He said in the Bible. Confusion doesn't even come close to describing this anxiety inducing method of decision making that would sum up the phrase SEEMS right. "Seems to me...based on all that conglomeration of information...that the best course of action would be to..." DEATH! How many of us are stuck here? Today God brought this reminder: “Walk with Me. I am near, not far. There is a way that leads to life, and it is only by My Spirit you can find it. You will know the truth, and this truth will set you free. The bondages are in your mind and keep everything else in check. Way to pursue truth! You will find, and know the Truth in Me."
As we walk with Him in relationship we not only get to enjoy His Presence, but we are being led down a (narrow) path that leads to life. I am learning to rely on His still small voice as He gives me the nudges, verses,and words. Will I mess up, have I messed up? Uhhhhm...yeah. However the great thing about walking with your Daddy, is that He is there to catch you when you fall. Oh, and just a fun fact about our relationship is the thing He tells me most, which will be very revealing of both of our hearts is: "Don't be afriad"
He is amazing.
It looks like I will have to post more of the details on my happenings next time, this is already way long. In fact, kuddos if you are still reading! Also, this does SEEM very reminiscent of some of my other posts, but they both contain lessons I know will take me a lifetime to learn. Trusting His heart with all of my heart.
Wow...
This one just goes on...
and on...
anywho
:)
I love doing this.
especially in my videos to Anna *;)*
the credits and farewells last almost as long as the content.
finally I will go.
Take care and be blessed!
<3 Brooke
PS if anyway knows how I can add a playlist to the side, please message me and let me know. there are so many amazing songs I would like to share.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Why does He give commands?
I love these verses...God's heart for us sure comes through.
Isaiah 48
17Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.
18"If only you had paid attention to My commandments!
Then your well-being would have been like a river,
And your righteousness like the waves of the sea."
He leads us for our own good...
Isaiah 48
17Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.
18"If only you had paid attention to My commandments!
Then your well-being would have been like a river,
And your righteousness like the waves of the sea."
He leads us for our own good...
Friday, April 8, 2011
When Daddy speaks...
I am back in my Minnesota dwelling! Most of my family is healthy, some are under the weather with headaches and fevers and sore throats. Dad is working in Ohio. Rachel, Paige, Nate and Emilee began a large paint job at the Courthouse in SF today. I am one of the recovering peoples, at home with a headache taking it easy today. That was somewhat hard for me to do. It is hard for me to humble myself and rest when there is work to be done, though of course part of me enjoys sleeping, relaxing and just listening to music talking to my Father...
You see, when I am not doing anything "significant" for a time, I can easily begin to wrestle with my worth and identity. So the past two days I have been wrestling with the familiar fear of missing God and not doing enough for His Kingdom. Being afraid of resting too much. This was part of my false theology of God: that He frowns upon my resting and is constantly prodding me to do more, because after all, there is a world to save. Today He spoke again to my heart though, and I would like to copy and paste the exchange we had as recorded in my computor-journal. I love it when He speaks--there is nothing like His Voice and His presence and Him in all the universe!
So I was lying on the floor, asking Him to give me His desires for my weekend, week, future, life, etc...and I wanted to “look and see” like Ezekiel did. As I turned my spritual eyes to heaven, I saw Jesus (this is like very shady and blurry, and not like a clear picture, but there nonetheless) beckoning me and a group of others up higher. We saw the world as if from space, though it seemed we were just above the clouds maybe. It was as if He was showing us our inheritance. I then asked Him what I needed to do to get the inheritance (just because I could ask *smile*) He said kindly, “Brooke, just wait.” that is so cool. Humbling. It lines up with everything He has been saying in Psalm 37, especially verse 34 “Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land…” It was a "duh" moment, but an incredibly joyful one. I mean, really? The meek do inherit the earth, huh?
So Father, (I asked as usual) cast vision for my life I ask…put it in my heart and not just in my head.
Father says-
Brooke,
You are loved and cherished. Just like you are. I planned you to be this way. I knew all along and I loved you. Can you just rest in this? Once again laying down your prideful striving to have something to show for your life. Your building/work must be of the Spirit or it will burn down. I will show you what is necessary, don’t be afraid. I am not afraid. Stay above that spirit. It will try to poison your thinking, especially about other people then you will not see clearly.
Me-Father! I want to do Your work, Your will in this world. Either change the way I see that, or get me involved I ask.
Father-Why do you want to do My work?
Me-Because it is so rewarding and I want to see results of change and see things going the way they were designed to go. I want to see your will be done and Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven. I want people to know You, and Your goodness. I love being a part of Your Kingdom!
Father-Those things will not change as a result of your work, but MY Spirit. For by grace you were saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the GIFT of God, NOT of WORKS so that no one could boast. Your rest declares to the world My Glory. I am the one who calls and exalts and leads you in the way you should go. Ministry is Mine to give and not to be pursued, but entered into.
Me-What am I to do now, then? I don’t want to be lazy! That can’t be glorifying to You.
Father-be still for a time and know that I am God. Your heart MUST rest in Me or you will be overwhelmed. I didn’t create you to save the world, but to BE. To follow Me. I am your reward, your heart needs rest from chaotic striving. I am the Savior, you are My Daughter. Be consumed by My love. I will lead you in the way you should go. Your heart will rejoice!
What a Father! Let us let our hearts rest in trust of this Lover of our souls. I hope this makes you hungry to listen and hear what He would say to your heart.
He wants to speak to you!
Other verses I found delightful in Psalm 37
23The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
24though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.
You see, when I am not doing anything "significant" for a time, I can easily begin to wrestle with my worth and identity. So the past two days I have been wrestling with the familiar fear of missing God and not doing enough for His Kingdom. Being afraid of resting too much. This was part of my false theology of God: that He frowns upon my resting and is constantly prodding me to do more, because after all, there is a world to save. Today He spoke again to my heart though, and I would like to copy and paste the exchange we had as recorded in my computor-journal. I love it when He speaks--there is nothing like His Voice and His presence and Him in all the universe!
So I was lying on the floor, asking Him to give me His desires for my weekend, week, future, life, etc...and I wanted to “look and see” like Ezekiel did. As I turned my spritual eyes to heaven, I saw Jesus (this is like very shady and blurry, and not like a clear picture, but there nonetheless) beckoning me and a group of others up higher. We saw the world as if from space, though it seemed we were just above the clouds maybe. It was as if He was showing us our inheritance. I then asked Him what I needed to do to get the inheritance (just because I could ask *smile*) He said kindly, “Brooke, just wait.” that is so cool. Humbling. It lines up with everything He has been saying in Psalm 37, especially verse 34 “Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land…” It was a "duh" moment, but an incredibly joyful one. I mean, really? The meek do inherit the earth, huh?
So Father, (I asked as usual) cast vision for my life I ask…put it in my heart and not just in my head.
Father says-
Brooke,
You are loved and cherished. Just like you are. I planned you to be this way. I knew all along and I loved you. Can you just rest in this? Once again laying down your prideful striving to have something to show for your life. Your building/work must be of the Spirit or it will burn down. I will show you what is necessary, don’t be afraid. I am not afraid. Stay above that spirit. It will try to poison your thinking, especially about other people then you will not see clearly.
Me-Father! I want to do Your work, Your will in this world. Either change the way I see that, or get me involved I ask.
Father-Why do you want to do My work?
Me-Because it is so rewarding and I want to see results of change and see things going the way they were designed to go. I want to see your will be done and Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven. I want people to know You, and Your goodness. I love being a part of Your Kingdom!
Father-Those things will not change as a result of your work, but MY Spirit. For by grace you were saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the GIFT of God, NOT of WORKS so that no one could boast. Your rest declares to the world My Glory. I am the one who calls and exalts and leads you in the way you should go. Ministry is Mine to give and not to be pursued, but entered into.
Me-What am I to do now, then? I don’t want to be lazy! That can’t be glorifying to You.
Father-be still for a time and know that I am God. Your heart MUST rest in Me or you will be overwhelmed. I didn’t create you to save the world, but to BE. To follow Me. I am your reward, your heart needs rest from chaotic striving. I am the Savior, you are My Daughter. Be consumed by My love. I will lead you in the way you should go. Your heart will rejoice!
What a Father! Let us let our hearts rest in trust of this Lover of our souls. I hope this makes you hungry to listen and hear what He would say to your heart.
He wants to speak to you!
Other verses I found delightful in Psalm 37
23The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
24though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
"Simple" stuff thats changing my life...
Greetings, all you--people,
Wow, today I am having trouble knowing how to start off this blog. I could say so many things. Hope this day is going well for you, hope you are blessed, whats going on...and on? Thense questions don't get answered though, so I will just have to share an update from my life. I guess that is what blogs are for...still getting used to this! That said, I will get right to the point.
I find myself back in the great state of cheese and expensive gas. Well. That could be most states in the US now, gaswise. However, my family and I are back in Wisconsin briefly. We are enjoying the Dells this time! Chula Vista is an amazing place to come with your family, and again I am with the Tschanz clan, where I stayed most of last month. The Tschanz's built the waterslides at this resort with their family who do this for a living, and they earned a few complimentary stays. It's all about who you know anymore *wink*. We are just having a blast and enjoying being together. Dad will go for a week or so to work on a waterslide in Ohio with the Tschanz crew later on this evening, and then it will be us womenfolk and children who will go our separate ways home tomorrow. My grandma who lives in Wisconsin and my aunt and two cousins from MI are here as well. It's very special how it all came together.
Anyway, the Lord has been bringing so many things to my heart. He continues to bring up more applications on things we have been learning at our many conferences. Right now the greatest thing I percieve happening is that He is teaching me how to LIVE. He is LIFE, He is LIGHT and He lives in me, in my "heart" shall we say, or inmost being. THIS IS EXCITING! Yes, we know this,and have for sometime. Wow, I even feel Him now, but anyway...He has been teaching me to live from my heart, and this continues to change my life. Some of you didn't know that you could live from a place beside your heart. What else is there? Some of you know that I am talking about the American religious mind. That is where I have spent too much of my time living out of, simply leaning on my own understanding. God renews our minds, and can change our minds, but He lives in our HEARTS. At our rebirth He put a new heart and a new Spirit within us, and calls us the light of the world. Incredible! So basically, even though we look normal, He has put in us the glowing, life giving potential to change the world--if we will just let Him! How do we LET this light shine? Living from our hearts, which is the place in us where He lives. How does this look different from living from own understanding? Well, I acknowledge the One who lives in my heart to guide me, rather than consulting my knowledge base which is flawed, incomplete and full of judgements.
This weekend I saw again how currupted my mind can be. Any of you experienced this in worship service at church? My mind simply would not leave me alone. There it went, hopping like a sick bunny from irrelevant, pointless, downright annoying details to even disapointing, heartless judgements of others. It was terrible, because part of me was enjoying worship, and at other times I felt I was a prisoner of my mind. I was crying out to God about this, asking Him to purify and remove these ugly roadblocks to enjoying Him and others in the family of God. He showed me (gently) that #1 I am full of sinful pride and I need to let Him change me by His Grace (can't change myself) and that I am not to live life out of this carnal mind. Instead, I am to live from the new heart, the "new man" that He has created in Me. As I lay down my selfish mind, trusting Him with all my heart, I am free to love as He loves, and my life is no longer mine, but Christ's who lives in Me. It has been so fun practicing this whole living from my heart with my family here at Chula Vista. I have been laughing more, loving more, BEING MORE CHILDLIKE, going down more slides fast, hugging more kids and adults, smiling at strangers, feeling full of love...ahhh...I hope I can learn more and more of this and it grows. Sometimes I get this, other times I slip back into the "safety" of my own understanding...but it is a journey. I hope this made sense in some way and it encourages all of you precious Jesus-lovers to
"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your HEART
Do not lean on your own UNDERSTANDING
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will *lovingly* direct your paths"
Prov 3:5-6
*my addition :)*
Wow, today I am having trouble knowing how to start off this blog. I could say so many things. Hope this day is going well for you, hope you are blessed, whats going on...and on? Thense questions don't get answered though, so I will just have to share an update from my life. I guess that is what blogs are for...still getting used to this! That said, I will get right to the point.
I find myself back in the great state of cheese and expensive gas. Well. That could be most states in the US now, gaswise. However, my family and I are back in Wisconsin briefly. We are enjoying the Dells this time! Chula Vista is an amazing place to come with your family, and again I am with the Tschanz clan, where I stayed most of last month. The Tschanz's built the waterslides at this resort with their family who do this for a living, and they earned a few complimentary stays. It's all about who you know anymore *wink*. We are just having a blast and enjoying being together. Dad will go for a week or so to work on a waterslide in Ohio with the Tschanz crew later on this evening, and then it will be us womenfolk and children who will go our separate ways home tomorrow. My grandma who lives in Wisconsin and my aunt and two cousins from MI are here as well. It's very special how it all came together.
Anyway, the Lord has been bringing so many things to my heart. He continues to bring up more applications on things we have been learning at our many conferences. Right now the greatest thing I percieve happening is that He is teaching me how to LIVE. He is LIFE, He is LIGHT and He lives in me, in my "heart" shall we say, or inmost being. THIS IS EXCITING! Yes, we know this,and have for sometime. Wow, I even feel Him now, but anyway...He has been teaching me to live from my heart, and this continues to change my life. Some of you didn't know that you could live from a place beside your heart. What else is there? Some of you know that I am talking about the American religious mind. That is where I have spent too much of my time living out of, simply leaning on my own understanding. God renews our minds, and can change our minds, but He lives in our HEARTS. At our rebirth He put a new heart and a new Spirit within us, and calls us the light of the world. Incredible! So basically, even though we look normal, He has put in us the glowing, life giving potential to change the world--if we will just let Him! How do we LET this light shine? Living from our hearts, which is the place in us where He lives. How does this look different from living from own understanding? Well, I acknowledge the One who lives in my heart to guide me, rather than consulting my knowledge base which is flawed, incomplete and full of judgements.
This weekend I saw again how currupted my mind can be. Any of you experienced this in worship service at church? My mind simply would not leave me alone. There it went, hopping like a sick bunny from irrelevant, pointless, downright annoying details to even disapointing, heartless judgements of others. It was terrible, because part of me was enjoying worship, and at other times I felt I was a prisoner of my mind. I was crying out to God about this, asking Him to purify and remove these ugly roadblocks to enjoying Him and others in the family of God. He showed me (gently) that #1 I am full of sinful pride and I need to let Him change me by His Grace (can't change myself) and that I am not to live life out of this carnal mind. Instead, I am to live from the new heart, the "new man" that He has created in Me. As I lay down my selfish mind, trusting Him with all my heart, I am free to love as He loves, and my life is no longer mine, but Christ's who lives in Me. It has been so fun practicing this whole living from my heart with my family here at Chula Vista. I have been laughing more, loving more, BEING MORE CHILDLIKE, going down more slides fast, hugging more kids and adults, smiling at strangers, feeling full of love...ahhh...I hope I can learn more and more of this and it grows. Sometimes I get this, other times I slip back into the "safety" of my own understanding...but it is a journey. I hope this made sense in some way and it encourages all of you precious Jesus-lovers to
"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your HEART
Do not lean on your own UNDERSTANDING
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will *lovingly* direct your paths"
Prov 3:5-6
*my addition :)*
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Can we trust His Heart?
Hello! Greetings from my home in my Father's heart and the river of His love! Also, from Minnesota where I sit on my own couch. Literally, I am at home! My heart is very full right now. I love this being at home, in both ways. Thank You, Father!
This week my hands have been filled with brushes, rollers and covered in paint. It has been mostly great fun to be back at it with my dad, Paige, Nate, and Emilee. We have had some crazy, happy moments and serious times, enjoying one another and rolling out 2 fairly good sized jobs this week. We also were able to get reaquainted with our next-door-gramma T. and help paint her upstairs with my aunt who will be moving in shortly. I am so thankful for my family...what the love of God can do in people is nothing short of miraculous and wonderful to be a part of. Not always easy or fun, mind you...of course, but He is always there to make something beautiful regardless. Some of my highlights of the week include deep, enlightening talks with both my heavenly and earthly fathers, a night with my friend Cassie in her dorm and some freeing personal prayer ministry there, and last night singing/worship with my sisters and friend Annie. She has written many deep, beautiful songs and we were doing some improvisational worship with those on various instruments and in my case, lounging on the couch just singing my heart out.
Recently this same Annie wrote a song about Jesus hanging on the cross. This song developed from a personal crisis in her life where she was overwhelmed with the feeling of abandonment. At this point she was struck with the utter trust Jesus has for His Father. In her song, Jesus cries out in agony, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?" just before the song transitions into Jesus' words just before his life ends-- while He is hanging there feeling forsaken, at his lowest point, He knows and trusts His Father's heart. He knows His love. He KNOWS and trusts that God will cause all things to work out for good, not only for the world, but for him. Just before dying, He expresses this massive, miraculous trust in the words "Into YOUR hands I commit my spirit." Never mind that You let me die here, that you let me be abused and wrecked because of your love for the sinners in the world. Never mind that I feel alone and completely unloved with unbelievable pain, I TRUST YOU. Not only with the things IN my life, but with my very life. WOW. Could there be a more incredible example? Jesus just KNEW His Father that well. I want to get to know this Father!
We added more "I trust you's" to the song sung in various ways and as we were singing I felt God was showing me a few more reasons WHY I could trust Him. He showed me a deep well, a storehouse full of goods/stuff and provisions, and a place in the heavens heaping with treasures. HE is laying up treasures for us, He has good plans for our future even as he did for Jesus. Being with Him forever, sitting at His right hand with pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16)? Top that! His Father's heart LOVES to give good gifts to His children. Obviously we don't always get them immediately *grin* but they are there nonetheless...and Father is not slow, but patient in giving them at the perfect times.
YES! We can trust this Daddy. Let's all love on Him today!
check out this song--
http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/My+Father+s+Heart/2Iefc4?src=5
This week my hands have been filled with brushes, rollers and covered in paint. It has been mostly great fun to be back at it with my dad, Paige, Nate, and Emilee. We have had some crazy, happy moments and serious times, enjoying one another and rolling out 2 fairly good sized jobs this week. We also were able to get reaquainted with our next-door-gramma T. and help paint her upstairs with my aunt who will be moving in shortly. I am so thankful for my family...what the love of God can do in people is nothing short of miraculous and wonderful to be a part of. Not always easy or fun, mind you...of course, but He is always there to make something beautiful regardless. Some of my highlights of the week include deep, enlightening talks with both my heavenly and earthly fathers, a night with my friend Cassie in her dorm and some freeing personal prayer ministry there, and last night singing/worship with my sisters and friend Annie. She has written many deep, beautiful songs and we were doing some improvisational worship with those on various instruments and in my case, lounging on the couch just singing my heart out.
Recently this same Annie wrote a song about Jesus hanging on the cross. This song developed from a personal crisis in her life where she was overwhelmed with the feeling of abandonment. At this point she was struck with the utter trust Jesus has for His Father. In her song, Jesus cries out in agony, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?" just before the song transitions into Jesus' words just before his life ends-- while He is hanging there feeling forsaken, at his lowest point, He knows and trusts His Father's heart. He knows His love. He KNOWS and trusts that God will cause all things to work out for good, not only for the world, but for him. Just before dying, He expresses this massive, miraculous trust in the words "Into YOUR hands I commit my spirit." Never mind that You let me die here, that you let me be abused and wrecked because of your love for the sinners in the world. Never mind that I feel alone and completely unloved with unbelievable pain, I TRUST YOU. Not only with the things IN my life, but with my very life. WOW. Could there be a more incredible example? Jesus just KNEW His Father that well. I want to get to know this Father!
We added more "I trust you's" to the song sung in various ways and as we were singing I felt God was showing me a few more reasons WHY I could trust Him. He showed me a deep well, a storehouse full of goods/stuff and provisions, and a place in the heavens heaping with treasures. HE is laying up treasures for us, He has good plans for our future even as he did for Jesus. Being with Him forever, sitting at His right hand with pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16)? Top that! His Father's heart LOVES to give good gifts to His children. Obviously we don't always get them immediately *grin* but they are there nonetheless...and Father is not slow, but patient in giving them at the perfect times.
YES! We can trust this Daddy. Let's all love on Him today!
check out this song--
http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/My+Father+s+Heart/2Iefc4?src=5
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