When Daddy speaks...

I am back in my Minnesota dwelling! Most of my family is healthy, some are under the weather with headaches and fevers and sore throats. Dad is working in Ohio. Rachel, Paige, Nate and Emilee began a large paint job at the Courthouse in SF today. I am one of the recovering peoples, at home with a headache taking it easy today. That was somewhat hard for me to do. It is hard for me to humble myself and rest when there is work to be done, though of course part of me enjoys sleeping, relaxing and just listening to music talking to my Father...
You see, when I am not doing anything "significant" for a time, I can easily begin to wrestle with my worth and identity. So the past two days I have been wrestling with the familiar fear of missing God and not doing enough for His Kingdom. Being afraid of resting too much. This was part of my false theology of God: that He frowns upon my resting and is constantly prodding me to do more, because after all, there is a world to save. Today He spoke again to my heart though, and I would like to copy and paste the exchange we had as recorded in my computor-journal. I love it when He speaks--there is nothing like His Voice and His presence and Him in all the universe!
So I was lying on the floor, asking Him to give me His desires for my weekend, week, future, life, etc...and I wanted to “look and see” like Ezekiel did. As I turned my spritual eyes to heaven, I saw Jesus (this is like very shady and blurry, and not like a clear picture, but there nonetheless) beckoning me and a group of others up higher. We saw the world as if from space, though it seemed we were just above the clouds maybe. It was as if He was showing us our inheritance. I then asked Him what I needed to do to get the inheritance (just because I could ask *smile*) He said kindly, “Brooke, just wait.” that is so cool. Humbling. It lines up with everything He has been saying in Psalm 37, especially verse 34 “Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land…” It was a "duh" moment, but an incredibly joyful one. I mean, really? The meek do inherit the earth, huh?
So Father, (I asked as usual) cast vision for my life I ask…put it in my heart and not just in my head.
Father says-
Brooke,
You are loved and cherished. Just like you are. I planned you to be this way. I knew all along and I loved you. Can you just rest in this? Once again laying down your prideful striving to have something to show for your life. Your building/work must be of the Spirit or it will burn down. I will show you what is necessary, don’t be afraid. I am not afraid. Stay above that spirit. It will try to poison your thinking, especially about other people then you will not see clearly.
Me-Father! I want to do Your work, Your will in this world. Either change the way I see that, or get me involved I ask.
Father-Why do you want to do My work?
Me-Because it is so rewarding and I want to see results of change and see things going the way they were designed to go. I want to see your will be done and Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven. I want people to know You, and Your goodness. I love being a part of Your Kingdom!
Father-Those things will not change as a result of your work, but MY Spirit. For by grace you were saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the GIFT of God, NOT of WORKS so that no one could boast. Your rest declares to the world My Glory. I am the one who calls and exalts and leads you in the way you should go. Ministry is Mine to give and not to be pursued, but entered into.
Me-What am I to do now, then? I don’t want to be lazy! That can’t be glorifying to You.
Father-be still for a time and know that I am God. Your heart MUST rest in Me or you will be overwhelmed. I didn’t create you to save the world, but to BE. To follow Me. I am your reward, your heart needs rest from chaotic striving. I am the Savior, you are My Daughter. Be consumed by My love. I will lead you in the way you should go. Your heart will rejoice!
What a Father! Let us let our hearts rest in trust of this Lover of our souls. I hope this makes you hungry to listen and hear what He would say to your heart.
He wants to speak to you!


Other verses I found delightful in Psalm 37

23The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
24though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.