Ok, so can I just talk about what God has done for me? He amazes me. Continually. It's late and I need to be up early but I just can't take it anymore, He so good and I can't sleep. This happens to me semifrequently. It is true that I did have a major coffee and sugar overdose but who can blame me? You can blame me, yes, yes, but the point I am trying to make here is I got the job I have dreamed of and asked for--yesterday I began working at a coffeeshop! Why a dream of a coffeeshop? Last year on the 22nd of November I moved out of my home in BC for a 40 day period in which God did marvelous heart-work and inner life change, among other things like showing how wonderfully He provides for what we need. I didn't have a job during that time but was completely taken care of. He even payed my way (through friends) to have an amazing OneThing Conference experience in Kansas City at the end of the 40 days. This is not the time or place to go into detail on that, however during that time I began to seek God on what His desires were for me and what desires I had, that were long buried out of necessity and other "stuff". One of the first things to surface was the longing to work at a coffeeshop. I have dear relatives and friends who do, and I have secretly or not always wanted to try it. I love interacting with people and hospitality type ventures. When I was growing up we could never have people over to our house enough, if you asked me. This draw, coupled with the desire to spread the hope and gospel of Jesus Christ to everyone in any way and a love for the atmosphere of a coffeehouse,made me feel I had found a "calling". I applied at Barnes and Noble Starbucks. When I wasn't hired and other things came up, it became obvious the timing was off. I spent the winter and spring painting and living in Wisconsin with extended family, helping them out and enjoying myself. One lovely June evening of this year I was sitting in my room journaling when an idea that got me crazy excited dropped into my mind. In case you were wondering, it was 11:11 PM to be precise, most of you weren't, but there you go! That was extra! For many reasons I felt God was showing I would be a part of starting a Jesus Coffeehouse--somewhere out in the open where we could worship Him and love on people--among so many things that fall into those two categories. Missions local and to the nations are included in there, but this is the brief summary. Anyway, this fall I was feeling called to move to Sioux Falls to be better prepared and answer my calling, as of then I wasn't completely sure how that would work or what the calling was exactly. There were many things that weren't working out and I unsuccesfully "moved out" a few times only to return for various reasons and be somewhat frustrated and confused. "I thought you wanted me to go, Lord!?" Well, He did, my timing was just rushed and off as usual. PATIENCE. I did a lot of asking, seeking and knocking this fall, and packed up most of my stuff on Friday, 11-11-11 feeling like that was the day to make the final move. I had a family lined up to live with and the possibility of getting the call that this nearby coffeehouse had hired me at any moment. None of that worked out. The family told me it would not be a good time to bring my stuff over and no matter how much I anguished inside, the "you're hired" call never came. While I was shopping at Savers with my family though, I had a sweet opportunity to pray with a lady who God highlighted to me with a health need, and we both were blessed and in tears. I also met up with the amazing Becky Brunz (whom introduced in the last post)and her boys there. That night Brunz's were having a memorial for their child Vision Nevaeh, who brought heaven's perspective on life when her 5+ month life ended in a miscarriage. They courageously shared about God's goodness and how He was using this for good in thier lives all He is doing. A whole nother beautiful but painful story. Afterward Emilee, my sister, suggested that my friends and I invite ourselves over to the Brunz's for worship. Which is what we did. They invited us to spend the night, so we did. I had no idea what direction my life was going to take, but decided to stay the weekend in Sioux Falls while things unfolded. No phone call the next morning, but I had given up on worry and decided that obviously my Dad would work it out and I didn't have to be concerned. Joyfully I took up the obvious thing to do--help Becky paint! We began the project described in the previous post and God showed me just how much fun it is to be serving, and not worrying about the next step. Besides a relationship with Jesus, there is really nothing more fulfilling in life! How freeing this was! So for 6 days we painted and primed together and just as I was applying paint before wrapping up for the weekend last Friday, the call came. I got the job! A week exactly after I thought I needed to know. The Brunz's offered me their home until I can get a place with some dear single lady friends of mine at the beginning of the new year. Transportation is a bit sketchy, but my family has offered their little red car on occasion and I know it will all come together as time goes on...or it wont because God will have something better. He always does. Far above what we could ask, think or imagine.
There is much more to this story and sidenotes upon sidenotes of little things God has done since, but I will begin to close. I am so thankful for this new open door. It is also the next step in starting a Christian coffeehouse; because first I need to learn the ropes of a Cafe owner, and I am told that my new workplace is an ideal fit for such an education. I am enjoying it so much so far, and constantly thanking God for this opportunity. It seems this is the path He is leading me down--the coffeehouse one--but He is welcomed to interrupt at anytime because His ways are far above of mine!
Goodmorning. It is now 3 AM and I need to get up in 4 hours to begin work at this amazing place. Now that I got this out here, hopefully I can sleep ;)
Be blessed by this amazing Father!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Romantic Service...
I am sitting on the bed I have slept in for almost a week--at my friend's the Brunz's lovely home. One of their 4 boys (Elijah 7 1/2) is snuggled up close to me giving me arithmetic problems, so if this comes out a bit fuzzy, its because I am trying to be brilliant in reading, writing and arithmetic all at once. It's fun, he's awesome. Ok, being all brilliant wasn't working, but he is getting ready for bed now and I will focus.
My week has been wonderful here . Becky is an incredible wife and mother; the goodness of her heart is constantly splashing onto her family and those around her. It has been inspiration to be around her and Micah as they practice giving and loving on the many who come into their lives and through their door. Not to mention loving on their lively boys and finding ways to encourage and enjoy them.
In this time of waiting to hear if I have a job, and asking, seeking and knocking to find out what this calling is I feel, I find myself in their midst. It just "so happened" that Becky had planned to paint the main rooms of her house this week and I was free to join her--in transition as I am and without "Fresh Coat Painter" (family business) work. Participating in the transformation of dull woodwork and unfeeling colors to crisp white trim and turquoise walls has been a thrill. What makes this project more thrilling is when I consider how many people this family impacts. They are attending the Gate School of Ministry with me and have the dream of being in a Christian community that honors each other and actually lives life together. Hospitality, miracles, walking and talking with God, worship and valuing all people are just some of the passions we share. There has been so much laughter and lively discussion amidst the general paint splatterings and meals around here. Not all of it has been polite(with all the young boys around), but I am lightening up to all the strange jokes, haha! My friend Kelly, brother Kale (who lives with the Brunz's now)and various friends and siblings have been staying over here and popping in, and needless to say they are all wonderful. Paige is strumming a lively version of "Your Love Never Fails" right now, in fact. So beautiful. Yes, I am enjoying life and am so thankful to God for all my family and making this kind of joy possible! On that note, "Joy" is what we dubbed the turquoise color Becky created for her kitchen and dining room.
Anyway, last time I wrote, I shared about bringing joy to God's heart and revelations of what He desires. At this time in my life I feel He is teaching me the joys of serving Him from my heart. Back in October I had a sweet and powerful encounter with Him that I hadn't understood very well until this week. I was at a worship night in Sioux Falls, just journaling, and actually feeling pretty distant from God while trying to hear His voice. As I set my mind on Him I saw Jesus, dressed in only a towel around his waist in a dimly lit room. It was totally the John 13:3-5 scene.
“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His Hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples feet and to wipe them with the towel which He had girded.” In this picture in my minds' eye, He was gazing into my eyes, this is what I felt He was saying:
"I want you to look at me, look into My eyes and KNOW My love, really let it sink into you and impress upon your heart. I want you to grasp this. I stripped down, laying down My life for you, serving you. You have much to learn about this joyful, fulfilling way of life and I beckon you to follow Me through the doorway of sacrifice" He got up and stood in a dark doorway, with a beckoning smile "Will you not come, My love? My love has no limits, no barriers, no boundaries. Won’t you be My Love?"
Needless to say I have been excited and curious about following Him into a life like He described of being His love! He is unfathomably amazing. I have read these words again and again and just pondered what all this means--His love and all. It is an unfolding story, but one thing I know for sure is this life of giving and serving alongside Him--to the extent I have practiced it--has been overwhelmingly wonderful! I look forward to a lifetime of discoveries and experiences of this nature. He truly has made the beauty of serving come alive in an intense new way and one might even say being served by Him and serving others alongside Him is incredibly romantic. I would definately say that. ;)
Yes, yes, I am young and naive and I haven't experienced the depths of hardships that others have nor many devastating scenarios. But I know that when things get ugly
I can trust my Lover Jesus, He will be with me, and He is more than enough for me. Who knows what the future will hold? I will keep you updated as I can.
LOVE, Love! Let's experience and become His Love.
My week has been wonderful here . Becky is an incredible wife and mother; the goodness of her heart is constantly splashing onto her family and those around her. It has been inspiration to be around her and Micah as they practice giving and loving on the many who come into their lives and through their door. Not to mention loving on their lively boys and finding ways to encourage and enjoy them.
In this time of waiting to hear if I have a job, and asking, seeking and knocking to find out what this calling is I feel, I find myself in their midst. It just "so happened" that Becky had planned to paint the main rooms of her house this week and I was free to join her--in transition as I am and without "Fresh Coat Painter" (family business) work. Participating in the transformation of dull woodwork and unfeeling colors to crisp white trim and turquoise walls has been a thrill. What makes this project more thrilling is when I consider how many people this family impacts. They are attending the Gate School of Ministry with me and have the dream of being in a Christian community that honors each other and actually lives life together. Hospitality, miracles, walking and talking with God, worship and valuing all people are just some of the passions we share. There has been so much laughter and lively discussion amidst the general paint splatterings and meals around here. Not all of it has been polite(with all the young boys around), but I am lightening up to all the strange jokes, haha! My friend Kelly, brother Kale (who lives with the Brunz's now)and various friends and siblings have been staying over here and popping in, and needless to say they are all wonderful. Paige is strumming a lively version of "Your Love Never Fails" right now, in fact. So beautiful. Yes, I am enjoying life and am so thankful to God for all my family and making this kind of joy possible! On that note, "Joy" is what we dubbed the turquoise color Becky created for her kitchen and dining room.
Anyway, last time I wrote, I shared about bringing joy to God's heart and revelations of what He desires. At this time in my life I feel He is teaching me the joys of serving Him from my heart. Back in October I had a sweet and powerful encounter with Him that I hadn't understood very well until this week. I was at a worship night in Sioux Falls, just journaling, and actually feeling pretty distant from God while trying to hear His voice. As I set my mind on Him I saw Jesus, dressed in only a towel around his waist in a dimly lit room. It was totally the John 13:3-5 scene.
“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His Hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples feet and to wipe them with the towel which He had girded.” In this picture in my minds' eye, He was gazing into my eyes, this is what I felt He was saying:
"I want you to look at me, look into My eyes and KNOW My love, really let it sink into you and impress upon your heart. I want you to grasp this. I stripped down, laying down My life for you, serving you. You have much to learn about this joyful, fulfilling way of life and I beckon you to follow Me through the doorway of sacrifice" He got up and stood in a dark doorway, with a beckoning smile "Will you not come, My love? My love has no limits, no barriers, no boundaries. Won’t you be My Love?"
Needless to say I have been excited and curious about following Him into a life like He described of being His love! He is unfathomably amazing. I have read these words again and again and just pondered what all this means--His love and all. It is an unfolding story, but one thing I know for sure is this life of giving and serving alongside Him--to the extent I have practiced it--has been overwhelmingly wonderful! I look forward to a lifetime of discoveries and experiences of this nature. He truly has made the beauty of serving come alive in an intense new way and one might even say being served by Him and serving others alongside Him is incredibly romantic. I would definately say that. ;)
Yes, yes, I am young and naive and I haven't experienced the depths of hardships that others have nor many devastating scenarios. But I know that when things get ugly
I can trust my Lover Jesus, He will be with me, and He is more than enough for me. Who knows what the future will hold? I will keep you updated as I can.
LOVE, Love! Let's experience and become His Love.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Becoming the Child of His Dreams...
I will just begin by saying--WOW. So much to talk about, so much that God has revealed and so many things I want to share with you all. It has been a very strange time of life for me as I have felt God calling me to leave my home in Beaver Creek and move to Sioux Falls. As most who know me know, my family is very tight knit and dear to me and this is a big change in and of itself. Yes, I am “of age” and past age if you asked most of my friends and relatives who would have been relieved to see me venture off many years ago. I appreciate their concern. Often I was concerned myself, mainly because my life has looked nothing like "normal" (whatever that is) the past few years, and I have not taken the typical route of those my age. Actually, my whole life I have been different if only by association with my wonderful family--so I should be used to it by now! Progress in moving has been a bit slow, but things are starting to line up and God is paving the way.
Over this summer God has been stirring up some dreams and desires of mine and giving glimpses of how they might look when fulfilled. I have been very happy as a Fresh Coat Painter, but have so many other interests and a heart to just be everything God created me to be. I long to be a part of His Kingdom and find my place in His Master plan. He knows best and He even knows what I like better than I do, so I have been doing a lot of seeking, knocking and asking what’s next for me, God?
A couple of weeks ago I was seated reverently (hehe, I couldn’t resist) in a worship weekend at my Church listening to Ian Rutherford from IHOP speak on Passion for God. Does anyone else get nervous during those talks in fear of facing a lack of passion? I do, but the truth about our lack of passion doesn’t surprise God. He loves us. Anyway, Ian stated that God will be serious about pursuing our dreams, when we begin to pursue His dreams. Those words unlocked a whole new thought pattern for me, even though I have heard similar things before. Proverbs states the same concept: “Delight yourself in the LORD and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” The way he said “God’s dreams” shook me up to the reality of how personal God is. I got to know God’s word before I got to know Him personally. I knew the God of the Bible wanted a lot of things, but I constantly need to make the connection the Father of love that I am now getting to know through experience is this God. Because of all my misconceptions, it is almost like I am getting to know God all over again! Based on what I know about the Father now, my heart was filled with desire to fulfill the desires of His heart. David is one example of one who pursued God's dreams. He was a Lover of God. One who cared not just about performing commandments, but truly PLEASING his God. In fact, he decided he wanted to build God a permanent house because he thought God would really like that, even though God didn’t ask for one (2 Sam 7). God even told him not too, because he was a man of bloodshed and had ordained Solomon instead for that project.
I have been basking in this revelation that I can bless God’s heart and I have been eagerly asking Him “God what are Your dreams?” Because of all He has done and His abundant love poured on me, this is so fun to ask out of sheer gratitude. Isn’t it a wonderful thought that we could actually bless the heart of God?
Over the past few weeks of asking Him this, I feel He has shown me some of His desires and would like to share with you what He has spoken to my heart at different times. The Bible is full of what pleases or hurts the heart of God, but it was neat to get some insight directly from Him and see it line up with what is in His previously written Word. He summed up His dream when He said to love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength, but this is more of what that dream looks like in the "particulars".
Here’s what I felt He was saying (each paragraph was at a different time):
“My heart is for unity. I want togetherness and welcoming acceptance. I want peace among the brothers and sisters. I want encouragement and the building up, rather than the tearing down. I long to see them grow up together into the maturity that I have planned for them. I want change in the earth, I want to see people hungry and ready for Me to invade. I want people’s hearts prepared to meet Me. I want to give them glimpses and tastes of My goodness to prepare them for eternity. Give them an appetite for good things from My hand.
"Brokenness. I want to see people lay their hearts before me and return to Me with all of their hearts. Not with words but with weeping, with futile plans recognized and completely honest before My goodness and My glory. Desperation. Looking to Me with all their attention. Fixed on the reality of My Presence and who I Am. Grow in receptivity to My urgings and My Words…don’t be without Who I AM. Stay connected and abiding, for without Me you can do nothing. This is where your ability lies, as you rest in My Hands.
"Faithfulness. Lovers who remain with Me and stand by my side when the going gets rough. Not those who will turn and point in accusation against Me. When you do not trust Me, it wounds Me. I cannot entrust you with more of Myself if I am rejected by you. Guard My heart by trusting Me and honoring My words. I want all of your heart, so that our love can be everything it was designed to be and you can become wholly who I made you."
What a Father! I have another more personal revelation to share sometime, but this is already very long, so I will make a new post for that one. I hope this made you extra courious as to what Father would say if you asked how to become the child of His dreams... :) Well, go for it!
Over this summer God has been stirring up some dreams and desires of mine and giving glimpses of how they might look when fulfilled. I have been very happy as a Fresh Coat Painter, but have so many other interests and a heart to just be everything God created me to be. I long to be a part of His Kingdom and find my place in His Master plan. He knows best and He even knows what I like better than I do, so I have been doing a lot of seeking, knocking and asking what’s next for me, God?
A couple of weeks ago I was seated reverently (hehe, I couldn’t resist) in a worship weekend at my Church listening to Ian Rutherford from IHOP speak on Passion for God. Does anyone else get nervous during those talks in fear of facing a lack of passion? I do, but the truth about our lack of passion doesn’t surprise God. He loves us. Anyway, Ian stated that God will be serious about pursuing our dreams, when we begin to pursue His dreams. Those words unlocked a whole new thought pattern for me, even though I have heard similar things before. Proverbs states the same concept: “Delight yourself in the LORD and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” The way he said “God’s dreams” shook me up to the reality of how personal God is. I got to know God’s word before I got to know Him personally. I knew the God of the Bible wanted a lot of things, but I constantly need to make the connection the Father of love that I am now getting to know through experience is this God. Because of all my misconceptions, it is almost like I am getting to know God all over again! Based on what I know about the Father now, my heart was filled with desire to fulfill the desires of His heart. David is one example of one who pursued God's dreams. He was a Lover of God. One who cared not just about performing commandments, but truly PLEASING his God. In fact, he decided he wanted to build God a permanent house because he thought God would really like that, even though God didn’t ask for one (2 Sam 7). God even told him not too, because he was a man of bloodshed and had ordained Solomon instead for that project.
I have been basking in this revelation that I can bless God’s heart and I have been eagerly asking Him “God what are Your dreams?” Because of all He has done and His abundant love poured on me, this is so fun to ask out of sheer gratitude. Isn’t it a wonderful thought that we could actually bless the heart of God?
Over the past few weeks of asking Him this, I feel He has shown me some of His desires and would like to share with you what He has spoken to my heart at different times. The Bible is full of what pleases or hurts the heart of God, but it was neat to get some insight directly from Him and see it line up with what is in His previously written Word. He summed up His dream when He said to love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength, but this is more of what that dream looks like in the "particulars".
Here’s what I felt He was saying (each paragraph was at a different time):
“My heart is for unity. I want togetherness and welcoming acceptance. I want peace among the brothers and sisters. I want encouragement and the building up, rather than the tearing down. I long to see them grow up together into the maturity that I have planned for them. I want change in the earth, I want to see people hungry and ready for Me to invade. I want people’s hearts prepared to meet Me. I want to give them glimpses and tastes of My goodness to prepare them for eternity. Give them an appetite for good things from My hand.
"Brokenness. I want to see people lay their hearts before me and return to Me with all of their hearts. Not with words but with weeping, with futile plans recognized and completely honest before My goodness and My glory. Desperation. Looking to Me with all their attention. Fixed on the reality of My Presence and who I Am. Grow in receptivity to My urgings and My Words…don’t be without Who I AM. Stay connected and abiding, for without Me you can do nothing. This is where your ability lies, as you rest in My Hands.
"Faithfulness. Lovers who remain with Me and stand by my side when the going gets rough. Not those who will turn and point in accusation against Me. When you do not trust Me, it wounds Me. I cannot entrust you with more of Myself if I am rejected by you. Guard My heart by trusting Me and honoring My words. I want all of your heart, so that our love can be everything it was designed to be and you can become wholly who I made you."
What a Father! I have another more personal revelation to share sometime, but this is already very long, so I will make a new post for that one. I hope this made you extra courious as to what Father would say if you asked how to become the child of His dreams... :) Well, go for it!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Lost in the Dance...
Beloved Followers,
I don't think I will call you that anymore, for that sounds cultish. I like to avoid giving off that vibe if possible. Thankfully you all understand my motives (I hope).
I hope you all are well! Please update me on you when possible.
I am glad to finally post a whole season later! This summer was a wonderful one to be sure, and incredibly full. Other than the fact that I didn't make time to post, being without my handy lil ACER Netbook was a great hinderance to blogging. Those are my main reasons for not being on here, for those who need to know WHY?!
Currently I am sitting on the couch in my basement room at home feeling incredibly blessed. Papa God has been filling me up all day with His word and His love, and I just drank a cup of warmed water with chia seeds. Very nice. He has been so kind to my heart as usual and I am continually blown away by Him. I don't want to sound like a broken record but WE HAVE A GOOD FATHER. His heart toward us is good, don't let what happens in this sin-sick world deceive you. Don't let hurts and hurting people deceive you. Just because people are suffering does not mean this is what God wants for the world. If you want to know what is good in God's eyes and what HE wants for the world look at Eden. The cross was Him reconciling the world to Himself so that we could be restored to a beautiful relationship with Him and ultimately get back to the "way things was" in Eden. Unhindered communion. Oh, and a beautiful earth I might add.
As I have been increasingly inviting Him into my thought life and coming to Him with what is going on in my heart He has been transforming me and speaking truth that changes everything. Life is EASY when I let Him carry my burdens. When He said, "Come to Me all who are wearied and heavy laden and I will give you rest." He truly meant it! I thought grandma's silly "Life is hard and then you die" quote was somewhat reasonable. Sure seems that way when you look around these days. But Jesus...He changes everything! His yoke really is easy and His burden light. If we find things are difficult we may just be carrying stuff He never wanted us to carry in the first place. We may just be carrying extra junk for security or whatnot. He doesn't just want us to cope, He wants us to hope. He wants us to let go so we can be free. He wants us to be in His Kingdom which is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit! This is His heart for all of us. Some of us would love to do this...but can't find freedom and can't free ourselves. We feel conquered with no way out. It is in this place we need to cry out. We need an invasion of His presence.
A beautiful analogy the Lord gave me while praying is France before the Allied DDay invasion. Germany took advantage of France's weakness and captured it, and set up a whole barricade to keep out anyone who might try to rescue France. These mines and defenses along the coast were daunting, but miraculously on June 6th, 1944*checks google to be sure of historical accuracy, lol* the Allied forces broke through and began their campaign to liberate France, heading straight for its heart. That my friend is what we need. We need the Holy Spirit to invade our lives and dismantle the enemy's fortresses of lies and defenses that keep us "safe"...but only safe from our Rescuer. If you feel stuck and not free, cry out to Him tonight. He wants to go after your heart and free you. Only He can overpower your enemy, you just need to cry out to Him and cooperate. Say yes! Hallelujah, that was my preach and sure enough it came on!
Back to what is going on in my life:
Last night a dear friend of mine was praying for me(thanks Anna!)and she saw the Lord dancing with me. It was such a meaningful analogy for what I am learning to do right now. Not trying to lead my life, but follow my Partner's lead. Keep my eyes on Him and enjoy Him. Not thinking so much, but leaning on Him! Trusting Him(Proverbs 3:5,6--see previous posts for more on that) and therefore getting LOST in His love. We were laughing in His presence so much during prayer. He was so sweet I was starting to get lost! That is my hope for all of you tonight: that you lose your lives and find them in Him. That you find Him and find life! That you call on Him and He delivers you from whatever holds you back and you get lost in the dance of your life with your Lover. Jesus Christ. Oh, and if you happen to be a single lady out there wondering where your man is, I hope you find him. Or more accurately I hope that while you are so lost in God's intoxicating presence that the Lord dances you right into the arms of a fine warrior poet dude. From there I hope you become excellent partners and bring much applause to your Lover/Father and have a large family that displays the love of God to a badly lost world. I am sorry, you probably were having a good day until I brought all of that up that you didn't want to remember and thought you were over singleness or whats-his-face again. But there is the longing. Bring it to Jesus AGAIN my friends. He can take it, believe me, He has lots of practice with yours truly. He loves you beyond what you can imagine.
It is time for me to go. Thanks for reading this!
May His presence invade you tonight!
PS Comments are desired...let me know what Father is up to in your lives.
I don't think I will call you that anymore, for that sounds cultish. I like to avoid giving off that vibe if possible. Thankfully you all understand my motives (I hope).
I hope you all are well! Please update me on you when possible.
I am glad to finally post a whole season later! This summer was a wonderful one to be sure, and incredibly full. Other than the fact that I didn't make time to post, being without my handy lil ACER Netbook was a great hinderance to blogging. Those are my main reasons for not being on here, for those who need to know WHY?!
Currently I am sitting on the couch in my basement room at home feeling incredibly blessed. Papa God has been filling me up all day with His word and His love, and I just drank a cup of warmed water with chia seeds. Very nice. He has been so kind to my heart as usual and I am continually blown away by Him. I don't want to sound like a broken record but WE HAVE A GOOD FATHER. His heart toward us is good, don't let what happens in this sin-sick world deceive you. Don't let hurts and hurting people deceive you. Just because people are suffering does not mean this is what God wants for the world. If you want to know what is good in God's eyes and what HE wants for the world look at Eden. The cross was Him reconciling the world to Himself so that we could be restored to a beautiful relationship with Him and ultimately get back to the "way things was" in Eden. Unhindered communion. Oh, and a beautiful earth I might add.
As I have been increasingly inviting Him into my thought life and coming to Him with what is going on in my heart He has been transforming me and speaking truth that changes everything. Life is EASY when I let Him carry my burdens. When He said, "Come to Me all who are wearied and heavy laden and I will give you rest." He truly meant it! I thought grandma's silly "Life is hard and then you die" quote was somewhat reasonable. Sure seems that way when you look around these days. But Jesus...He changes everything! His yoke really is easy and His burden light. If we find things are difficult we may just be carrying stuff He never wanted us to carry in the first place. We may just be carrying extra junk for security or whatnot. He doesn't just want us to cope, He wants us to hope. He wants us to let go so we can be free. He wants us to be in His Kingdom which is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit! This is His heart for all of us. Some of us would love to do this...but can't find freedom and can't free ourselves. We feel conquered with no way out. It is in this place we need to cry out. We need an invasion of His presence.
A beautiful analogy the Lord gave me while praying is France before the Allied DDay invasion. Germany took advantage of France's weakness and captured it, and set up a whole barricade to keep out anyone who might try to rescue France. These mines and defenses along the coast were daunting, but miraculously on June 6th, 1944*checks google to be sure of historical accuracy, lol* the Allied forces broke through and began their campaign to liberate France, heading straight for its heart. That my friend is what we need. We need the Holy Spirit to invade our lives and dismantle the enemy's fortresses of lies and defenses that keep us "safe"...but only safe from our Rescuer. If you feel stuck and not free, cry out to Him tonight. He wants to go after your heart and free you. Only He can overpower your enemy, you just need to cry out to Him and cooperate. Say yes! Hallelujah, that was my preach and sure enough it came on!
Back to what is going on in my life:
Last night a dear friend of mine was praying for me(thanks Anna!)and she saw the Lord dancing with me. It was such a meaningful analogy for what I am learning to do right now. Not trying to lead my life, but follow my Partner's lead. Keep my eyes on Him and enjoy Him. Not thinking so much, but leaning on Him! Trusting Him(Proverbs 3:5,6--see previous posts for more on that) and therefore getting LOST in His love. We were laughing in His presence so much during prayer. He was so sweet I was starting to get lost! That is my hope for all of you tonight: that you lose your lives and find them in Him. That you find Him and find life! That you call on Him and He delivers you from whatever holds you back and you get lost in the dance of your life with your Lover. Jesus Christ. Oh, and if you happen to be a single lady out there wondering where your man is, I hope you find him. Or more accurately I hope that while you are so lost in God's intoxicating presence that the Lord dances you right into the arms of a fine warrior poet dude. From there I hope you become excellent partners and bring much applause to your Lover/Father and have a large family that displays the love of God to a badly lost world. I am sorry, you probably were having a good day until I brought all of that up that you didn't want to remember and thought you were over singleness or whats-his-face again. But there is the longing. Bring it to Jesus AGAIN my friends. He can take it, believe me, He has lots of practice with yours truly. He loves you beyond what you can imagine.
It is time for me to go. Thanks for reading this!
May His presence invade you tonight!
PS Comments are desired...let me know what Father is up to in your lives.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
ChoicEs
It has been a long time. I will try to get right to sharing some of the things Papa has put on my heart lately--in the past 2 weeks that I are ongoing lessons and/or possibly share some happenings in my life. I don't know, I will just ride the waves of instantanious inspiration! *grin*
First of all, God has been shining His light on things again (He loves to do this, and I love it when He does). Not only on things around me but things in my heart. When He does this, a contrast is created, or a shadow, see? For some time LIFE has been highlighted, and thus death has been brought out by contrast. Spring is a great time to be alive anyway, and to appreciate life. On the night of April 11th I was taking a liesurely stroll down the barren and moist feilds, joyfully talking with God and remembering (thanks to recording in my jurnal) a significant desire I had surrendered in this field 2 years ago. One of those "Not my will but Yours be done". Wonderful freedom, by the way, comes in that statement! Anywho,I wandered down in a valley, closer to the interstate and there was a thin, cute stream I hadn't seen bfore. the sun was setting in that moment and the atmosphere was gently glowing. Perfect, you know? Well, minus mesquitos...but this is MN and earth, nonetheless!
I forget at what point I was at in this convo with my Daddy, but as I turned toward the sunset, this verse rose up from somewhere inside (where Jesus lives <3) "You will show me the path of LIFE; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Ps 16:8. I love this verse. So I basked in the goodness of this God who not only loves us, but guides us in the best way, the way of Life, that leads to life. He is life. He is the way. He will lead me! Good stuff, huh? I walked beside the stream briskly to lose the surrounding pests *bzzzzzzzz*, and turned back to check on the progressing sunset after a bit. This time a contrasting verse came to me "There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but it's end is the way to DEATH" (Prov 4:12 ESV). This way leads to death rather than life...and it is the natural way we would choose just by leaning on our minds, our understanding and what seems right to us.
This is the problem with the Christian "religion" that I have held in my mind based on my own fear and numerous teachings from many well-meaning churches that I have sat in many times. We need to have His Word in our hearts, and listen to Him as He speaks from there. Not just gain learning for our heads to be filled with truth, for it is there in our heads that our human reasoning resides as well, and lies exist and truth can be contorted because we are trusting our reasoning based on the past and what we can see...those are so unreliable! Atleast I know my tendency to make decisions by coupling past experience, perception of reality, desire, sensiblity, people's opinions, and also what God might be wanting based on what He said in the Bible. Confusion doesn't even come close to describing this anxiety inducing method of decision making that would sum up the phrase SEEMS right. "Seems to me...based on all that conglomeration of information...that the best course of action would be to..." DEATH! How many of us are stuck here? Today God brought this reminder: “Walk with Me. I am near, not far. There is a way that leads to life, and it is only by My Spirit you can find it. You will know the truth, and this truth will set you free. The bondages are in your mind and keep everything else in check. Way to pursue truth! You will find, and know the Truth in Me."
As we walk with Him in relationship we not only get to enjoy His Presence, but we are being led down a (narrow) path that leads to life. I am learning to rely on His still small voice as He gives me the nudges, verses,and words. Will I mess up, have I messed up? Uhhhhm...yeah. However the great thing about walking with your Daddy, is that He is there to catch you when you fall. Oh, and just a fun fact about our relationship is the thing He tells me most, which will be very revealing of both of our hearts is: "Don't be afriad"
He is amazing.
It looks like I will have to post more of the details on my happenings next time, this is already way long. In fact, kuddos if you are still reading! Also, this does SEEM very reminiscent of some of my other posts, but they both contain lessons I know will take me a lifetime to learn. Trusting His heart with all of my heart.
Wow...
This one just goes on...
and on...
anywho
:)
I love doing this.
especially in my videos to Anna *;)*
the credits and farewells last almost as long as the content.
finally I will go.
Take care and be blessed!
<3 Brooke
PS if anyway knows how I can add a playlist to the side, please message me and let me know. there are so many amazing songs I would like to share.
First of all, God has been shining His light on things again (He loves to do this, and I love it when He does). Not only on things around me but things in my heart. When He does this, a contrast is created, or a shadow, see? For some time LIFE has been highlighted, and thus death has been brought out by contrast. Spring is a great time to be alive anyway, and to appreciate life. On the night of April 11th I was taking a liesurely stroll down the barren and moist feilds, joyfully talking with God and remembering (thanks to recording in my jurnal) a significant desire I had surrendered in this field 2 years ago. One of those "Not my will but Yours be done". Wonderful freedom, by the way, comes in that statement! Anywho,I wandered down in a valley, closer to the interstate and there was a thin, cute stream I hadn't seen bfore. the sun was setting in that moment and the atmosphere was gently glowing. Perfect, you know? Well, minus mesquitos...but this is MN and earth, nonetheless!
I forget at what point I was at in this convo with my Daddy, but as I turned toward the sunset, this verse rose up from somewhere inside (where Jesus lives <3) "You will show me the path of LIFE; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Ps 16:8. I love this verse. So I basked in the goodness of this God who not only loves us, but guides us in the best way, the way of Life, that leads to life. He is life. He is the way. He will lead me! Good stuff, huh? I walked beside the stream briskly to lose the surrounding pests *bzzzzzzzz*, and turned back to check on the progressing sunset after a bit. This time a contrasting verse came to me "There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but it's end is the way to DEATH" (Prov 4:12 ESV). This way leads to death rather than life...and it is the natural way we would choose just by leaning on our minds, our understanding and what seems right to us.
This is the problem with the Christian "religion" that I have held in my mind based on my own fear and numerous teachings from many well-meaning churches that I have sat in many times. We need to have His Word in our hearts, and listen to Him as He speaks from there. Not just gain learning for our heads to be filled with truth, for it is there in our heads that our human reasoning resides as well, and lies exist and truth can be contorted because we are trusting our reasoning based on the past and what we can see...those are so unreliable! Atleast I know my tendency to make decisions by coupling past experience, perception of reality, desire, sensiblity, people's opinions, and also what God might be wanting based on what He said in the Bible. Confusion doesn't even come close to describing this anxiety inducing method of decision making that would sum up the phrase SEEMS right. "Seems to me...based on all that conglomeration of information...that the best course of action would be to..." DEATH! How many of us are stuck here? Today God brought this reminder: “Walk with Me. I am near, not far. There is a way that leads to life, and it is only by My Spirit you can find it. You will know the truth, and this truth will set you free. The bondages are in your mind and keep everything else in check. Way to pursue truth! You will find, and know the Truth in Me."
As we walk with Him in relationship we not only get to enjoy His Presence, but we are being led down a (narrow) path that leads to life. I am learning to rely on His still small voice as He gives me the nudges, verses,and words. Will I mess up, have I messed up? Uhhhhm...yeah. However the great thing about walking with your Daddy, is that He is there to catch you when you fall. Oh, and just a fun fact about our relationship is the thing He tells me most, which will be very revealing of both of our hearts is: "Don't be afriad"
He is amazing.
It looks like I will have to post more of the details on my happenings next time, this is already way long. In fact, kuddos if you are still reading! Also, this does SEEM very reminiscent of some of my other posts, but they both contain lessons I know will take me a lifetime to learn. Trusting His heart with all of my heart.
Wow...
This one just goes on...
and on...
anywho
:)
I love doing this.
especially in my videos to Anna *;)*
the credits and farewells last almost as long as the content.
finally I will go.
Take care and be blessed!
<3 Brooke
PS if anyway knows how I can add a playlist to the side, please message me and let me know. there are so many amazing songs I would like to share.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Why does He give commands?
I love these verses...God's heart for us sure comes through.
Isaiah 48
17Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.
18"If only you had paid attention to My commandments!
Then your well-being would have been like a river,
And your righteousness like the waves of the sea."
He leads us for our own good...
Isaiah 48
17Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.
18"If only you had paid attention to My commandments!
Then your well-being would have been like a river,
And your righteousness like the waves of the sea."
He leads us for our own good...
Friday, April 8, 2011
When Daddy speaks...
I am back in my Minnesota dwelling! Most of my family is healthy, some are under the weather with headaches and fevers and sore throats. Dad is working in Ohio. Rachel, Paige, Nate and Emilee began a large paint job at the Courthouse in SF today. I am one of the recovering peoples, at home with a headache taking it easy today. That was somewhat hard for me to do. It is hard for me to humble myself and rest when there is work to be done, though of course part of me enjoys sleeping, relaxing and just listening to music talking to my Father...
You see, when I am not doing anything "significant" for a time, I can easily begin to wrestle with my worth and identity. So the past two days I have been wrestling with the familiar fear of missing God and not doing enough for His Kingdom. Being afraid of resting too much. This was part of my false theology of God: that He frowns upon my resting and is constantly prodding me to do more, because after all, there is a world to save. Today He spoke again to my heart though, and I would like to copy and paste the exchange we had as recorded in my computor-journal. I love it when He speaks--there is nothing like His Voice and His presence and Him in all the universe!
So I was lying on the floor, asking Him to give me His desires for my weekend, week, future, life, etc...and I wanted to “look and see” like Ezekiel did. As I turned my spritual eyes to heaven, I saw Jesus (this is like very shady and blurry, and not like a clear picture, but there nonetheless) beckoning me and a group of others up higher. We saw the world as if from space, though it seemed we were just above the clouds maybe. It was as if He was showing us our inheritance. I then asked Him what I needed to do to get the inheritance (just because I could ask *smile*) He said kindly, “Brooke, just wait.” that is so cool. Humbling. It lines up with everything He has been saying in Psalm 37, especially verse 34 “Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land…” It was a "duh" moment, but an incredibly joyful one. I mean, really? The meek do inherit the earth, huh?
So Father, (I asked as usual) cast vision for my life I ask…put it in my heart and not just in my head.
Father says-
Brooke,
You are loved and cherished. Just like you are. I planned you to be this way. I knew all along and I loved you. Can you just rest in this? Once again laying down your prideful striving to have something to show for your life. Your building/work must be of the Spirit or it will burn down. I will show you what is necessary, don’t be afraid. I am not afraid. Stay above that spirit. It will try to poison your thinking, especially about other people then you will not see clearly.
Me-Father! I want to do Your work, Your will in this world. Either change the way I see that, or get me involved I ask.
Father-Why do you want to do My work?
Me-Because it is so rewarding and I want to see results of change and see things going the way they were designed to go. I want to see your will be done and Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven. I want people to know You, and Your goodness. I love being a part of Your Kingdom!
Father-Those things will not change as a result of your work, but MY Spirit. For by grace you were saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the GIFT of God, NOT of WORKS so that no one could boast. Your rest declares to the world My Glory. I am the one who calls and exalts and leads you in the way you should go. Ministry is Mine to give and not to be pursued, but entered into.
Me-What am I to do now, then? I don’t want to be lazy! That can’t be glorifying to You.
Father-be still for a time and know that I am God. Your heart MUST rest in Me or you will be overwhelmed. I didn’t create you to save the world, but to BE. To follow Me. I am your reward, your heart needs rest from chaotic striving. I am the Savior, you are My Daughter. Be consumed by My love. I will lead you in the way you should go. Your heart will rejoice!
What a Father! Let us let our hearts rest in trust of this Lover of our souls. I hope this makes you hungry to listen and hear what He would say to your heart.
He wants to speak to you!
Other verses I found delightful in Psalm 37
23The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
24though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.
You see, when I am not doing anything "significant" for a time, I can easily begin to wrestle with my worth and identity. So the past two days I have been wrestling with the familiar fear of missing God and not doing enough for His Kingdom. Being afraid of resting too much. This was part of my false theology of God: that He frowns upon my resting and is constantly prodding me to do more, because after all, there is a world to save. Today He spoke again to my heart though, and I would like to copy and paste the exchange we had as recorded in my computor-journal. I love it when He speaks--there is nothing like His Voice and His presence and Him in all the universe!
So I was lying on the floor, asking Him to give me His desires for my weekend, week, future, life, etc...and I wanted to “look and see” like Ezekiel did. As I turned my spritual eyes to heaven, I saw Jesus (this is like very shady and blurry, and not like a clear picture, but there nonetheless) beckoning me and a group of others up higher. We saw the world as if from space, though it seemed we were just above the clouds maybe. It was as if He was showing us our inheritance. I then asked Him what I needed to do to get the inheritance (just because I could ask *smile*) He said kindly, “Brooke, just wait.” that is so cool. Humbling. It lines up with everything He has been saying in Psalm 37, especially verse 34 “Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land…” It was a "duh" moment, but an incredibly joyful one. I mean, really? The meek do inherit the earth, huh?
So Father, (I asked as usual) cast vision for my life I ask…put it in my heart and not just in my head.
Father says-
Brooke,
You are loved and cherished. Just like you are. I planned you to be this way. I knew all along and I loved you. Can you just rest in this? Once again laying down your prideful striving to have something to show for your life. Your building/work must be of the Spirit or it will burn down. I will show you what is necessary, don’t be afraid. I am not afraid. Stay above that spirit. It will try to poison your thinking, especially about other people then you will not see clearly.
Me-Father! I want to do Your work, Your will in this world. Either change the way I see that, or get me involved I ask.
Father-Why do you want to do My work?
Me-Because it is so rewarding and I want to see results of change and see things going the way they were designed to go. I want to see your will be done and Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven. I want people to know You, and Your goodness. I love being a part of Your Kingdom!
Father-Those things will not change as a result of your work, but MY Spirit. For by grace you were saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the GIFT of God, NOT of WORKS so that no one could boast. Your rest declares to the world My Glory. I am the one who calls and exalts and leads you in the way you should go. Ministry is Mine to give and not to be pursued, but entered into.
Me-What am I to do now, then? I don’t want to be lazy! That can’t be glorifying to You.
Father-be still for a time and know that I am God. Your heart MUST rest in Me or you will be overwhelmed. I didn’t create you to save the world, but to BE. To follow Me. I am your reward, your heart needs rest from chaotic striving. I am the Savior, you are My Daughter. Be consumed by My love. I will lead you in the way you should go. Your heart will rejoice!
What a Father! Let us let our hearts rest in trust of this Lover of our souls. I hope this makes you hungry to listen and hear what He would say to your heart.
He wants to speak to you!
Other verses I found delightful in Psalm 37
23The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
24though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
"Simple" stuff thats changing my life...
Greetings, all you--people,
Wow, today I am having trouble knowing how to start off this blog. I could say so many things. Hope this day is going well for you, hope you are blessed, whats going on...and on? Thense questions don't get answered though, so I will just have to share an update from my life. I guess that is what blogs are for...still getting used to this! That said, I will get right to the point.
I find myself back in the great state of cheese and expensive gas. Well. That could be most states in the US now, gaswise. However, my family and I are back in Wisconsin briefly. We are enjoying the Dells this time! Chula Vista is an amazing place to come with your family, and again I am with the Tschanz clan, where I stayed most of last month. The Tschanz's built the waterslides at this resort with their family who do this for a living, and they earned a few complimentary stays. It's all about who you know anymore *wink*. We are just having a blast and enjoying being together. Dad will go for a week or so to work on a waterslide in Ohio with the Tschanz crew later on this evening, and then it will be us womenfolk and children who will go our separate ways home tomorrow. My grandma who lives in Wisconsin and my aunt and two cousins from MI are here as well. It's very special how it all came together.
Anyway, the Lord has been bringing so many things to my heart. He continues to bring up more applications on things we have been learning at our many conferences. Right now the greatest thing I percieve happening is that He is teaching me how to LIVE. He is LIFE, He is LIGHT and He lives in me, in my "heart" shall we say, or inmost being. THIS IS EXCITING! Yes, we know this,and have for sometime. Wow, I even feel Him now, but anyway...He has been teaching me to live from my heart, and this continues to change my life. Some of you didn't know that you could live from a place beside your heart. What else is there? Some of you know that I am talking about the American religious mind. That is where I have spent too much of my time living out of, simply leaning on my own understanding. God renews our minds, and can change our minds, but He lives in our HEARTS. At our rebirth He put a new heart and a new Spirit within us, and calls us the light of the world. Incredible! So basically, even though we look normal, He has put in us the glowing, life giving potential to change the world--if we will just let Him! How do we LET this light shine? Living from our hearts, which is the place in us where He lives. How does this look different from living from own understanding? Well, I acknowledge the One who lives in my heart to guide me, rather than consulting my knowledge base which is flawed, incomplete and full of judgements.
This weekend I saw again how currupted my mind can be. Any of you experienced this in worship service at church? My mind simply would not leave me alone. There it went, hopping like a sick bunny from irrelevant, pointless, downright annoying details to even disapointing, heartless judgements of others. It was terrible, because part of me was enjoying worship, and at other times I felt I was a prisoner of my mind. I was crying out to God about this, asking Him to purify and remove these ugly roadblocks to enjoying Him and others in the family of God. He showed me (gently) that #1 I am full of sinful pride and I need to let Him change me by His Grace (can't change myself) and that I am not to live life out of this carnal mind. Instead, I am to live from the new heart, the "new man" that He has created in Me. As I lay down my selfish mind, trusting Him with all my heart, I am free to love as He loves, and my life is no longer mine, but Christ's who lives in Me. It has been so fun practicing this whole living from my heart with my family here at Chula Vista. I have been laughing more, loving more, BEING MORE CHILDLIKE, going down more slides fast, hugging more kids and adults, smiling at strangers, feeling full of love...ahhh...I hope I can learn more and more of this and it grows. Sometimes I get this, other times I slip back into the "safety" of my own understanding...but it is a journey. I hope this made sense in some way and it encourages all of you precious Jesus-lovers to
"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your HEART
Do not lean on your own UNDERSTANDING
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will *lovingly* direct your paths"
Prov 3:5-6
*my addition :)*
Wow, today I am having trouble knowing how to start off this blog. I could say so many things. Hope this day is going well for you, hope you are blessed, whats going on...and on? Thense questions don't get answered though, so I will just have to share an update from my life. I guess that is what blogs are for...still getting used to this! That said, I will get right to the point.
I find myself back in the great state of cheese and expensive gas. Well. That could be most states in the US now, gaswise. However, my family and I are back in Wisconsin briefly. We are enjoying the Dells this time! Chula Vista is an amazing place to come with your family, and again I am with the Tschanz clan, where I stayed most of last month. The Tschanz's built the waterslides at this resort with their family who do this for a living, and they earned a few complimentary stays. It's all about who you know anymore *wink*. We are just having a blast and enjoying being together. Dad will go for a week or so to work on a waterslide in Ohio with the Tschanz crew later on this evening, and then it will be us womenfolk and children who will go our separate ways home tomorrow. My grandma who lives in Wisconsin and my aunt and two cousins from MI are here as well. It's very special how it all came together.
Anyway, the Lord has been bringing so many things to my heart. He continues to bring up more applications on things we have been learning at our many conferences. Right now the greatest thing I percieve happening is that He is teaching me how to LIVE. He is LIFE, He is LIGHT and He lives in me, in my "heart" shall we say, or inmost being. THIS IS EXCITING! Yes, we know this,and have for sometime. Wow, I even feel Him now, but anyway...He has been teaching me to live from my heart, and this continues to change my life. Some of you didn't know that you could live from a place beside your heart. What else is there? Some of you know that I am talking about the American religious mind. That is where I have spent too much of my time living out of, simply leaning on my own understanding. God renews our minds, and can change our minds, but He lives in our HEARTS. At our rebirth He put a new heart and a new Spirit within us, and calls us the light of the world. Incredible! So basically, even though we look normal, He has put in us the glowing, life giving potential to change the world--if we will just let Him! How do we LET this light shine? Living from our hearts, which is the place in us where He lives. How does this look different from living from own understanding? Well, I acknowledge the One who lives in my heart to guide me, rather than consulting my knowledge base which is flawed, incomplete and full of judgements.
This weekend I saw again how currupted my mind can be. Any of you experienced this in worship service at church? My mind simply would not leave me alone. There it went, hopping like a sick bunny from irrelevant, pointless, downright annoying details to even disapointing, heartless judgements of others. It was terrible, because part of me was enjoying worship, and at other times I felt I was a prisoner of my mind. I was crying out to God about this, asking Him to purify and remove these ugly roadblocks to enjoying Him and others in the family of God. He showed me (gently) that #1 I am full of sinful pride and I need to let Him change me by His Grace (can't change myself) and that I am not to live life out of this carnal mind. Instead, I am to live from the new heart, the "new man" that He has created in Me. As I lay down my selfish mind, trusting Him with all my heart, I am free to love as He loves, and my life is no longer mine, but Christ's who lives in Me. It has been so fun practicing this whole living from my heart with my family here at Chula Vista. I have been laughing more, loving more, BEING MORE CHILDLIKE, going down more slides fast, hugging more kids and adults, smiling at strangers, feeling full of love...ahhh...I hope I can learn more and more of this and it grows. Sometimes I get this, other times I slip back into the "safety" of my own understanding...but it is a journey. I hope this made sense in some way and it encourages all of you precious Jesus-lovers to
"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your HEART
Do not lean on your own UNDERSTANDING
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will *lovingly* direct your paths"
Prov 3:5-6
*my addition :)*
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Can we trust His Heart?
Hello! Greetings from my home in my Father's heart and the river of His love! Also, from Minnesota where I sit on my own couch. Literally, I am at home! My heart is very full right now. I love this being at home, in both ways. Thank You, Father!
This week my hands have been filled with brushes, rollers and covered in paint. It has been mostly great fun to be back at it with my dad, Paige, Nate, and Emilee. We have had some crazy, happy moments and serious times, enjoying one another and rolling out 2 fairly good sized jobs this week. We also were able to get reaquainted with our next-door-gramma T. and help paint her upstairs with my aunt who will be moving in shortly. I am so thankful for my family...what the love of God can do in people is nothing short of miraculous and wonderful to be a part of. Not always easy or fun, mind you...of course, but He is always there to make something beautiful regardless. Some of my highlights of the week include deep, enlightening talks with both my heavenly and earthly fathers, a night with my friend Cassie in her dorm and some freeing personal prayer ministry there, and last night singing/worship with my sisters and friend Annie. She has written many deep, beautiful songs and we were doing some improvisational worship with those on various instruments and in my case, lounging on the couch just singing my heart out.
Recently this same Annie wrote a song about Jesus hanging on the cross. This song developed from a personal crisis in her life where she was overwhelmed with the feeling of abandonment. At this point she was struck with the utter trust Jesus has for His Father. In her song, Jesus cries out in agony, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?" just before the song transitions into Jesus' words just before his life ends-- while He is hanging there feeling forsaken, at his lowest point, He knows and trusts His Father's heart. He knows His love. He KNOWS and trusts that God will cause all things to work out for good, not only for the world, but for him. Just before dying, He expresses this massive, miraculous trust in the words "Into YOUR hands I commit my spirit." Never mind that You let me die here, that you let me be abused and wrecked because of your love for the sinners in the world. Never mind that I feel alone and completely unloved with unbelievable pain, I TRUST YOU. Not only with the things IN my life, but with my very life. WOW. Could there be a more incredible example? Jesus just KNEW His Father that well. I want to get to know this Father!
We added more "I trust you's" to the song sung in various ways and as we were singing I felt God was showing me a few more reasons WHY I could trust Him. He showed me a deep well, a storehouse full of goods/stuff and provisions, and a place in the heavens heaping with treasures. HE is laying up treasures for us, He has good plans for our future even as he did for Jesus. Being with Him forever, sitting at His right hand with pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16)? Top that! His Father's heart LOVES to give good gifts to His children. Obviously we don't always get them immediately *grin* but they are there nonetheless...and Father is not slow, but patient in giving them at the perfect times.
YES! We can trust this Daddy. Let's all love on Him today!
check out this song--
http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/My+Father+s+Heart/2Iefc4?src=5
This week my hands have been filled with brushes, rollers and covered in paint. It has been mostly great fun to be back at it with my dad, Paige, Nate, and Emilee. We have had some crazy, happy moments and serious times, enjoying one another and rolling out 2 fairly good sized jobs this week. We also were able to get reaquainted with our next-door-gramma T. and help paint her upstairs with my aunt who will be moving in shortly. I am so thankful for my family...what the love of God can do in people is nothing short of miraculous and wonderful to be a part of. Not always easy or fun, mind you...of course, but He is always there to make something beautiful regardless. Some of my highlights of the week include deep, enlightening talks with both my heavenly and earthly fathers, a night with my friend Cassie in her dorm and some freeing personal prayer ministry there, and last night singing/worship with my sisters and friend Annie. She has written many deep, beautiful songs and we were doing some improvisational worship with those on various instruments and in my case, lounging on the couch just singing my heart out.
Recently this same Annie wrote a song about Jesus hanging on the cross. This song developed from a personal crisis in her life where she was overwhelmed with the feeling of abandonment. At this point she was struck with the utter trust Jesus has for His Father. In her song, Jesus cries out in agony, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?" just before the song transitions into Jesus' words just before his life ends-- while He is hanging there feeling forsaken, at his lowest point, He knows and trusts His Father's heart. He knows His love. He KNOWS and trusts that God will cause all things to work out for good, not only for the world, but for him. Just before dying, He expresses this massive, miraculous trust in the words "Into YOUR hands I commit my spirit." Never mind that You let me die here, that you let me be abused and wrecked because of your love for the sinners in the world. Never mind that I feel alone and completely unloved with unbelievable pain, I TRUST YOU. Not only with the things IN my life, but with my very life. WOW. Could there be a more incredible example? Jesus just KNEW His Father that well. I want to get to know this Father!
We added more "I trust you's" to the song sung in various ways and as we were singing I felt God was showing me a few more reasons WHY I could trust Him. He showed me a deep well, a storehouse full of goods/stuff and provisions, and a place in the heavens heaping with treasures. HE is laying up treasures for us, He has good plans for our future even as he did for Jesus. Being with Him forever, sitting at His right hand with pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16)? Top that! His Father's heart LOVES to give good gifts to His children. Obviously we don't always get them immediately *grin* but they are there nonetheless...and Father is not slow, but patient in giving them at the perfect times.
YES! We can trust this Daddy. Let's all love on Him today!
check out this song--
http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/My+Father+s+Heart/2Iefc4?src=5
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Roots Going Deep
Right now I am chillaxing and watching Furious Love with some siblings and a friend at a hotel in Minneapolis. The conference we attended here about the Father and Mother Heart of God concluded this afternoon. It was a tremendous blessing. I say that somewhat sheepishly, being as we have had some--quite a few--conferences over the past year and have been blessed over-the-top by learning about the love of God from Jesus followers all over the USA. Father has been leading us on this journey of grace...literally. It takes a lot of grace to travel with so many people (i.e. my fam) for one thing, and possibly would be sufficient to teach us God's grace just so that we could survive. HAHA, no. He has literally been founding my roots in grace, and stripping striving, performance and human effort out of the foundation, where it was laid with good intentions, but brings none or bad results.
Nothing good has come from my efforts or stress to be pleasing to God; for those living in the flesh (even doing good deeds) cannot please God. What pleases God in non-Christianese or normal language, is living life receiving love/life from the Father God and loving Him and others with this love. Christians would call this "abiding". It is so simple and childlike that sometimes those of us who have learned so much about God and what pleases Him and ESPECIALLY what doesn't please Him and how we can best do that based on our view of righteousness (self righteousness) overlook this. This is NOT GOOD when the entire basis and structure of our faith is our Papa God who IS love. When we are created to live as His sons and daughters in His Kingdom of love where we are nothing without love
Someties I have frowned upon myself and our family for attending all these conferences, so I do not blame those of you who scratch your heads or even disagree with our frivolous conference and learning opportunities that we often take off on. When will we ever get it straight to where we can get back to living life, and stop being like those warned of in scripture who are "ever learning but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." My dad and I discuss this often, how bad it must look that we go away to enjoy ourselves more often than not, learning about the love of the Father so much when there is so much work to be done in this world. There are so many more who need this love, should we not be assisting them now? We still don't have great answers to that question, all we know is the pull we feel, and the ways He arranges and provides for such activity and how blessed we have been as a result of getting to know Him more. The love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control this walk with Him has brought. He is amazing.
Anyway, dad and I were driving to Wisconsin discussing grace on the way to Wisconsin 3 weeks ago today. We were wondering if we were getting a bit off balance on the grace thing, thinking and hearing too much about it that we may be getting too removed from the righteous judgement of God, etc. His discipline you know? We came to the conclusion that we have no other hope than the grace of God. We confessed to a great lack of grace in our lives and how that wounds those close to us, whom we love the most. It has been proven that the more grace we receive from God for ourself, the more we are able to give away to others. It came to me also that as 1st Cor 13 says we can do all kinds of amazing work for God, but if we don't have love it will all amount to nothing. ALL our works would be for nothing. Our working without having God's love as our foundation would be like building on uneven, sandy, frankly BAD ground. So we may as well not do anything until our foundation is Christ, the Father's love. Yes, if we can't build it in His strength His way (love) we may as well go back to bed for the rest of our lives. We can't move on until we get this! God knows when that is, and He will guide us on our journey. He will guide you as well, as you follow His leading in your heart. I do not preach the "go to more conferences" gospel. I don't recommend it unless He leads, for His Spirit is ultimately the Teacher.
Time will tell what all the benefits of going to this particular conference, but it wasn't to give me more principles to live by, it was to get to know my Father better. HE is better than I can imagine. You can ask my family and cousins what they got from the conference as well, and I can guess that along with wonderful fellowship amongst us all and those at the church, our love for God and each other has increased with the experience and knowledge of the love of God!
That is the general "short" story of what I want to share with you. I wish I could have take all of you with me because I haven't even begun to tell you about the conference really. My mind is buzzing with it all now and I am extremely tired with a sore throat. I will just end with this sweet prayer for you...and me.
Eph 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
This is my desire!
Nothing good has come from my efforts or stress to be pleasing to God; for those living in the flesh (even doing good deeds) cannot please God. What pleases God in non-Christianese or normal language, is living life receiving love/life from the Father God and loving Him and others with this love. Christians would call this "abiding". It is so simple and childlike that sometimes those of us who have learned so much about God and what pleases Him and ESPECIALLY what doesn't please Him and how we can best do that based on our view of righteousness (self righteousness) overlook this. This is NOT GOOD when the entire basis and structure of our faith is our Papa God who IS love. When we are created to live as His sons and daughters in His Kingdom of love where we are nothing without love
Someties I have frowned upon myself and our family for attending all these conferences, so I do not blame those of you who scratch your heads or even disagree with our frivolous conference and learning opportunities that we often take off on. When will we ever get it straight to where we can get back to living life, and stop being like those warned of in scripture who are "ever learning but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." My dad and I discuss this often, how bad it must look that we go away to enjoy ourselves more often than not, learning about the love of the Father so much when there is so much work to be done in this world. There are so many more who need this love, should we not be assisting them now? We still don't have great answers to that question, all we know is the pull we feel, and the ways He arranges and provides for such activity and how blessed we have been as a result of getting to know Him more. The love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control this walk with Him has brought. He is amazing.
Anyway, dad and I were driving to Wisconsin discussing grace on the way to Wisconsin 3 weeks ago today. We were wondering if we were getting a bit off balance on the grace thing, thinking and hearing too much about it that we may be getting too removed from the righteous judgement of God, etc. His discipline you know? We came to the conclusion that we have no other hope than the grace of God. We confessed to a great lack of grace in our lives and how that wounds those close to us, whom we love the most. It has been proven that the more grace we receive from God for ourself, the more we are able to give away to others. It came to me also that as 1st Cor 13 says we can do all kinds of amazing work for God, but if we don't have love it will all amount to nothing. ALL our works would be for nothing. Our working without having God's love as our foundation would be like building on uneven, sandy, frankly BAD ground. So we may as well not do anything until our foundation is Christ, the Father's love. Yes, if we can't build it in His strength His way (love) we may as well go back to bed for the rest of our lives. We can't move on until we get this! God knows when that is, and He will guide us on our journey. He will guide you as well, as you follow His leading in your heart. I do not preach the "go to more conferences" gospel. I don't recommend it unless He leads, for His Spirit is ultimately the Teacher.
Time will tell what all the benefits of going to this particular conference, but it wasn't to give me more principles to live by, it was to get to know my Father better. HE is better than I can imagine. You can ask my family and cousins what they got from the conference as well, and I can guess that along with wonderful fellowship amongst us all and those at the church, our love for God and each other has increased with the experience and knowledge of the love of God!
That is the general "short" story of what I want to share with you. I wish I could have take all of you with me because I haven't even begun to tell you about the conference really. My mind is buzzing with it all now and I am extremely tired with a sore throat. I will just end with this sweet prayer for you...and me.
Eph 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
This is my desire!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Another Day in Wisconsin...
God is always good. I love that. He is the only predictable thing about life.
Today was another wonderful day with Him but not always easy, working through relationships with the people I am around and the feelings that are stirred up because of them. Anger, hurt, and also a lot of joy. What I love is that I can invite God into each of these emotions to speak the truth to my heart. I discovered a place there today that was still wounded from a time when I was around 4 years old. God came into the hurt I still had which was stirred up by the seemingly harmless question of a young teenager tonight. His Words changed everything. I was surprised by the amount of anger and emotions that one question brought! Thankfully, God knew the key, the truth that really does bring freedom!
Also today I came across a youtube song (2 parts to it) by Jason Upton that I hadn't heard until today and it tied so much of what God was telling me together.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jason+upton+back+to+the+father&aq=f
Wow, be blessed. A side note: I would rather listen to his music than watch him :)
A note on my whereabouts--looks like tomorrow I will be heading to Minneapolis for this conference with my cousins. the rest of my immediate family will meet Paige, Nate, Em and I up there. http://www.ktis.fm/calendar/events/index.php?com=detail&eID=4027
Yes, there seems to be a theme to all these conferences we go to as a family. We are getting to know our Abba. It doesn't make sense, all this travelling and our life--my life--right now, but this is a season, and I am grateful for it. Like that song says, the more I seek Him, the more I find Him. The more I find Him, the more I love Him!
"I have found Him whom my soul loves and I won't let go" Song of Solomon 3:4
Yes!
Today was another wonderful day with Him but not always easy, working through relationships with the people I am around and the feelings that are stirred up because of them. Anger, hurt, and also a lot of joy. What I love is that I can invite God into each of these emotions to speak the truth to my heart. I discovered a place there today that was still wounded from a time when I was around 4 years old. God came into the hurt I still had which was stirred up by the seemingly harmless question of a young teenager tonight. His Words changed everything. I was surprised by the amount of anger and emotions that one question brought! Thankfully, God knew the key, the truth that really does bring freedom!
Also today I came across a youtube song (2 parts to it) by Jason Upton that I hadn't heard until today and it tied so much of what God was telling me together.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jason+upton+back+to+the+father&aq=f
Wow, be blessed. A side note: I would rather listen to his music than watch him :)
A note on my whereabouts--looks like tomorrow I will be heading to Minneapolis for this conference with my cousins. the rest of my immediate family will meet Paige, Nate, Em and I up there. http://www.ktis.fm/calendar/events/index.php?com=detail&eID=4027
Yes, there seems to be a theme to all these conferences we go to as a family. We are getting to know our Abba. It doesn't make sense, all this travelling and our life--my life--right now, but this is a season, and I am grateful for it. Like that song says, the more I seek Him, the more I find Him. The more I find Him, the more I love Him!
"I have found Him whom my soul loves and I won't let go" Song of Solomon 3:4
Yes!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tenth Avenue North - "Any Other Way" Video Journal
watch this and be blessed. He wants the truth in the inward parts...open up and let Him change you completely from the inside out!
He loves to do it.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Winds from the west!
Right now I would compare my life to that of Mary Poppins. I do not identify with the "Practically perfect in every way" aspect of her character, nor very much of anything about her stiff manner. However, the other night while we were watching the Disney story about this magical woman I had to smile when she informed the children she nannied (an invented word I am hoping) that she would be staying until the wind changed. I've been doing so much travelling the past 6 months and undergoing so many changes as the wind of God's Spirit ushers me from one place to the next. It is crazy and oh-so-strange and incredible--but I love it. Yes, the life of Mary Poppins has some resemblance to the life of a Spirit led person. John 3:8 Jesus says,"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
I love this crazy travelling life where I have no main job title, no degree, and no obligation to a company. My life is intirely *gulp* unpredictable and I have given it away, sold the farm. It's not my own anymore, and this makes my insides burst with joy. This is freedom! I wish this same joy and certain uncertainty that saying yes to Jesus has brought me for all of you. He is my Home and I am His. He can take me anywhere and I will have all the comforts and love of home (more!) along with the exciting, challenging variety that He "blows" me into :P. Yes, to whosoever wills He offers this wonderfully unsafe life.
I had previously been working semi-steadily for my family business as a painter--as everyone knows. Work has been slow since Thanksgiving, but God has gotten us through, a few jobs here and there and a whole lot of provision. Our family was known for staying together and have made it a point to do so--another obvious thing for such a large troop. Lately however we have all been spreading out and travelling together, but also separately or with only a few family members. Dispersion shall we call it? In the past 6 months I've stayedin Minneapolis, MN, Pierre, SD, Ankenny, IA, Omaha, Ne, Kansas City, Mo, North Carolina, VA, Washington DC, Elkhorn, WI and Blair, WI--where I am right now on the 2nd trip there this year. What have I all been doing? That is too diverse and confusing to go into right now, but if you corner me and ask specifics, I will try to share some highlights.
I am in Wisconsin right now, between Eau Claire and LaCrosse learning, teaching, praying (aehm, talking to God), cooking, cleaning, organizing playing, and hanging out with (nannying perhaps?)2ndish cousins Heidi (9), LaRetta Sue (11), Nettie (13), Lizbeth (7), and Benny (5). Their parents are on work/vacation and we are taking over the horse barn and shed/house having an interesting (in a good way) and overall sweet time. Paige, Nate and Em, my unusually wonderful teen siblings are here with me as well contributing in every way and also making things interesting (again, mostly good). Tomorrow(considering the hour, that is today) their parents will return after being gone a week. This morning our large bunch had a prayer powow and talk (who wants to call it devotions when you have this age group?) on the absent parents’ bed and prayed for everyone in our group individually. My heart was bursting with joy as we asked God to give us encouraging words and show us how to pray for each one. This is when I come alive! He loves it when we encourage eachother in this way and become unified. I can sense His pleasure inside while we do this. So those receiving prayer plopped in the middle of the bed and those who wanted to pray or had something to share prayed and layed their hands on them. God gave us uplifting things to pray for each one and the kids were all smiles and stuck around the whole time. LaRetta Sue and Em even had a pen-tattoo ministry going on intermittently for the kids to receive Christian and other kinds of art. Now aren't we being seeker friendly? Haha...wow, I just realized what a huge draw that could be now! This has been a fun two weeks, I love these kids!
The rest of the day I was cooking, cleaning and organzing and didn't get to hang out much with the kids, other than talking and doing some reading lessons. Hopefully I will do more of that tomorrow. Instead I was mainly "alone" in the living room and also the laundry room/garage bringing some order and clean clothes onto the picture. This was no ordinary time though, because God met me and was so near during those times that I had to deal with tears. Guys: in the mundane, normal cleaning and drudgery kind of tasks I was having the time of my life! God is too good to be true! Have you thought lately of the goodness of God? He cares for us so we don't have to carry cares. He loved us first. He hears us when we call and answers our prayers. He has our entire future taken care of. He lets us sense His presence. He changes our ugly selfish hearts. He is all love, there is nothing dark in Him. He is our Daddy and our Mom. He understands us fully. He desires us. He walks WITH us and talks to us. He will never leave us. That is just a start.
Anyway, I asked Him questions and discussed life, my desires, concerns, failings and yes, He talked back among other things. I love Him!
This trip to WI I've had the opportunity to visit my grandma a few times, visit many good friends also in this area, and even got to meet a fun Amish couple! Ah, diversity! I love it.
My prayer and desire right now is that I would be one--united with Christ and that His heart and desires would be mine. That I would love these children like He loves them and make them hungry to know this amazing God and have a relationship with Him. To make a difference in their lives for His Kingdom. That they would choose Him and His Kingdom would grow and have that sweeet, incredible effect on them and their surroundings for the rest of their life. God is showing me the bigger picture of His Kingdom, and how righteousness (yay!), peace and joy that the Bible says make up His Kingdom come when Jesus Christ reigns from the central portion of our being. When we yeild to His way there is freedom and unbelievable benefits. Sometimes they are only experienced on the inside, but eventually the collective lives given to the King of Kings will begin to manifest a wonderful outcome that will change the world. When Christ is the King of each heart there will be no killing, hatred, unforgiveness, or greed--eventually there will be no poverty, sickness, death or disease. I like the sound of this Kingdom! So my prayer today is that as I become one with Jesus, His Kingdom will come and His will will be done in Wisconsin at the Tschanz Farm as it is in Heaven. Wherever His wind blows me, I want this to be my prayer. I love being about my Daddy's business. Most of the time I do not know what I am doing, but He is teaching, training and guiding me step by step. I so enjoy hearing about what God is up to in your lives as well. Keep me updated!!!
Well, it is late--I mean early. This should already be long enough to make up for my 22 years without a blog, so I will bid you farewell.
Peace!
Brooke
I love this crazy travelling life where I have no main job title, no degree, and no obligation to a company. My life is intirely *gulp* unpredictable and I have given it away, sold the farm. It's not my own anymore, and this makes my insides burst with joy. This is freedom! I wish this same joy and certain uncertainty that saying yes to Jesus has brought me for all of you. He is my Home and I am His. He can take me anywhere and I will have all the comforts and love of home (more!) along with the exciting, challenging variety that He "blows" me into :P. Yes, to whosoever wills He offers this wonderfully unsafe life.
I had previously been working semi-steadily for my family business as a painter--as everyone knows. Work has been slow since Thanksgiving, but God has gotten us through, a few jobs here and there and a whole lot of provision. Our family was known for staying together and have made it a point to do so--another obvious thing for such a large troop. Lately however we have all been spreading out and travelling together, but also separately or with only a few family members. Dispersion shall we call it? In the past 6 months I've stayedin Minneapolis, MN, Pierre, SD, Ankenny, IA, Omaha, Ne, Kansas City, Mo, North Carolina, VA, Washington DC, Elkhorn, WI and Blair, WI--where I am right now on the 2nd trip there this year. What have I all been doing? That is too diverse and confusing to go into right now, but if you corner me and ask specifics, I will try to share some highlights.
I am in Wisconsin right now, between Eau Claire and LaCrosse learning, teaching, praying (aehm, talking to God), cooking, cleaning, organizing playing, and hanging out with (nannying perhaps?)2ndish cousins Heidi (9), LaRetta Sue (11), Nettie (13), Lizbeth (7), and Benny (5). Their parents are on work/vacation and we are taking over the horse barn and shed/house having an interesting (in a good way) and overall sweet time. Paige, Nate and Em, my unusually wonderful teen siblings are here with me as well contributing in every way and also making things interesting (again, mostly good). Tomorrow(considering the hour, that is today) their parents will return after being gone a week. This morning our large bunch had a prayer powow and talk (who wants to call it devotions when you have this age group?) on the absent parents’ bed and prayed for everyone in our group individually. My heart was bursting with joy as we asked God to give us encouraging words and show us how to pray for each one. This is when I come alive! He loves it when we encourage eachother in this way and become unified. I can sense His pleasure inside while we do this. So those receiving prayer plopped in the middle of the bed and those who wanted to pray or had something to share prayed and layed their hands on them. God gave us uplifting things to pray for each one and the kids were all smiles and stuck around the whole time. LaRetta Sue and Em even had a pen-tattoo ministry going on intermittently for the kids to receive Christian and other kinds of art. Now aren't we being seeker friendly? Haha...wow, I just realized what a huge draw that could be now! This has been a fun two weeks, I love these kids!
The rest of the day I was cooking, cleaning and organzing and didn't get to hang out much with the kids, other than talking and doing some reading lessons. Hopefully I will do more of that tomorrow. Instead I was mainly "alone" in the living room and also the laundry room/garage bringing some order and clean clothes onto the picture. This was no ordinary time though, because God met me and was so near during those times that I had to deal with tears. Guys: in the mundane, normal cleaning and drudgery kind of tasks I was having the time of my life! God is too good to be true! Have you thought lately of the goodness of God? He cares for us so we don't have to carry cares. He loved us first. He hears us when we call and answers our prayers. He has our entire future taken care of. He lets us sense His presence. He changes our ugly selfish hearts. He is all love, there is nothing dark in Him. He is our Daddy and our Mom. He understands us fully. He desires us. He walks WITH us and talks to us. He will never leave us. That is just a start.
Anyway, I asked Him questions and discussed life, my desires, concerns, failings and yes, He talked back among other things. I love Him!
This trip to WI I've had the opportunity to visit my grandma a few times, visit many good friends also in this area, and even got to meet a fun Amish couple! Ah, diversity! I love it.
My prayer and desire right now is that I would be one--united with Christ and that His heart and desires would be mine. That I would love these children like He loves them and make them hungry to know this amazing God and have a relationship with Him. To make a difference in their lives for His Kingdom. That they would choose Him and His Kingdom would grow and have that sweeet, incredible effect on them and their surroundings for the rest of their life. God is showing me the bigger picture of His Kingdom, and how righteousness (yay!), peace and joy that the Bible says make up His Kingdom come when Jesus Christ reigns from the central portion of our being. When we yeild to His way there is freedom and unbelievable benefits. Sometimes they are only experienced on the inside, but eventually the collective lives given to the King of Kings will begin to manifest a wonderful outcome that will change the world. When Christ is the King of each heart there will be no killing, hatred, unforgiveness, or greed--eventually there will be no poverty, sickness, death or disease. I like the sound of this Kingdom! So my prayer today is that as I become one with Jesus, His Kingdom will come and His will will be done in Wisconsin at the Tschanz Farm as it is in Heaven. Wherever His wind blows me, I want this to be my prayer. I love being about my Daddy's business. Most of the time I do not know what I am doing, but He is teaching, training and guiding me step by step. I so enjoy hearing about what God is up to in your lives as well. Keep me updated!!!
Well, it is late--I mean early. This should already be long enough to make up for my 22 years without a blog, so I will bid you farewell.
Peace!
Brooke
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
A Bit of a Confession...
To begin with my friends, I must make a confession.
Not only is it good for the soul, it is good for MY soul to say that I have kind of previously judged those who blog. I have judged their blogs. I have judged those who stay up late on facebook (ahem, siblings!) and those who burn the midnight blog electricity. But all this must end for me tonight--or shall I say early this morning, for it is 3 AM. I do not wish to be judged, and if that is to be the case I must say adeui to my judgements (Matt 7) and here I am, posting my first blog. Yes my fellow imperfect humans, I now have become one of you. Haha, we laugh but unfortunately that is somewhat true.
I can already hear the shocked why's and when's coming from your mouths or minds. I can't exactly explain it, but somehow I felt above having the need to express myself to the world--atleast on the web. Unlike SOME people...haha. I don't know where that came from honestly, but I don't like to see it or own it anymore. I don't want to flatter myself for being so humble. Ok, so more reasons for not blogging are: I like to be different, and not tied down to things such as blogs. I am also shy of the criticism which may follow these written expressions of my heart...and the things I feel God is teaching me.
I am used to journaling with only God as my witness. He is so forgiving. Others are not always, nor understanding like Him. I can't get away with so much skipping around on topics, fragmented sentences, overly long ones and undeveloped ideas. These will still be found on my blog, but not in such great magnitude as my beloved journals...So--I am stepping out--gulp. Yay! I am excited to see what this is like, and honestly I have been asking God to give me some accountability and insite from others, so I welcome you--my reader and probably friend--'s constructive comments. Thanks for reading, and sharing this journey with me.
So here goes...looking unto Jesus: the Author and Finisher of my faith! Who is with me?
Blessinz!
Brooke
PS: I really did feel Jesus leading me to start this. He is doing interesting things like this lately...just had my ears pierced for the first time as well...that is not unusual for most--but for me....thats UNOther story...:)
Not only is it good for the soul, it is good for MY soul to say that I have kind of previously judged those who blog. I have judged their blogs. I have judged those who stay up late on facebook (ahem, siblings!) and those who burn the midnight blog electricity. But all this must end for me tonight--or shall I say early this morning, for it is 3 AM. I do not wish to be judged, and if that is to be the case I must say adeui to my judgements (Matt 7) and here I am, posting my first blog. Yes my fellow imperfect humans, I now have become one of you. Haha, we laugh but unfortunately that is somewhat true.
I can already hear the shocked why's and when's coming from your mouths or minds. I can't exactly explain it, but somehow I felt above having the need to express myself to the world--atleast on the web. Unlike SOME people...haha. I don't know where that came from honestly, but I don't like to see it or own it anymore. I don't want to flatter myself for being so humble. Ok, so more reasons for not blogging are: I like to be different, and not tied down to things such as blogs. I am also shy of the criticism which may follow these written expressions of my heart...and the things I feel God is teaching me.
I am used to journaling with only God as my witness. He is so forgiving. Others are not always, nor understanding like Him. I can't get away with so much skipping around on topics, fragmented sentences, overly long ones and undeveloped ideas. These will still be found on my blog, but not in such great magnitude as my beloved journals...So--I am stepping out--gulp. Yay! I am excited to see what this is like, and honestly I have been asking God to give me some accountability and insite from others, so I welcome you--my reader and probably friend--'s constructive comments. Thanks for reading, and sharing this journey with me.
So here goes...looking unto Jesus: the Author and Finisher of my faith! Who is with me?
Blessinz!
Brooke
PS: I really did feel Jesus leading me to start this. He is doing interesting things like this lately...just had my ears pierced for the first time as well...that is not unusual for most--but for me....thats UNOther story...:)
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